when times were simpler :: claire&sirius

[James Sirius Potter]

The usual dreary England skies were surprisingly bright today, a few clouds here and there but for once, the sun had gotten to shine through. Sirius was out at the lake, laying in the soft grass, smoking a cigarette and taking everything in for one last time. Today they would be meeting the Hogwarts Express for the last time at Hogsmeade Station to head back to London. After seven years, it was his last day at Hogwarts as a student. Sirius had been trying to wrap his head around this for weeks now, that all this was coming to an end. All his friends had jobs planned to be started within the next couple months, who knows when they would see each other again. It was just so strange to think that they would no longer spend the most of their year in the castle, learning, joking, stressing out over exams, papers and getting caught out of bed after hours. Everything was going to start changing soon. Or maybe not so much.

Since he was very young, Sirius had planned on being a professional Quidditch player, and he had focused almost all his school years efforts into doing his best at that in order to achieve this goal. Within the last two years he had been offered the keeper position for five different teams when he finished school, but he had not chosen one yet. He still had a little over a month before he had to make a final decision. The thing that was keeping him from making a decision at all, was a very unexpected offer. There was an auror who worked under his father who had come to speak to the students earlier in the year before Christmas, and in order to get out of potions that day, Sirius had attended his seminar. Any students who were interested were at the seminar where the auror had given them the test they would have to pass and then took them to the Quidditch Pitch where they were offered a chance to run an obsticle course similar to their training ones at the ministry.

Sirius aced the test and the physical course. Highest scores in years, higher than his dads even. Only thing is, Sirius had only done it to get out of a class. He hadn't been planning on passing the test. The physical course he knew he would be fine with, he knew he spells well and he was more than just fit. But the test had been much easier than he expected. So easy in fact, that he thought maybe he had just been a little buzzed from his after lunch drink and he had actually failed it. But no, a month ago, the auror had come back to the school spesifically to talk to Sirius. At the time, Sirius had told him flat out no. He was going to play Quidditch, pay his bills and continue to party like he always had. Why go into such a serious and depressing profession anyway? The man told him that if he changed his mind, his offer would be on the table at any time, and to really consider it. At the very least though, the guy did agree not to tell his dad about the scores. THe last thing he wanted was his dad pushing for him to join the Aurors. If he did choose that, which he didn't think at this point he was going to, he wanted it to be his decision, not his dads.

Trying to forget about that for now, Sirius sat up and looked up at the Castle, and out to the Quidditch pitch, and sighed as he put out his cigarette. Then he dug out his flask and took a sip as he often did. Once again, as he had been doing all day he pushed all those stressful thoughts out of his head, trying to enjoy the last little bit of time until he left this school as a student for the last time.


words, 674
tags, Claire!
notes, i thought this would be fun. Sometimes I miss teenage Sirius and Claire still.

[/size]

[Claire Pierce]

She didn't want to leave, not at all. It was beautiful and inspiring here, quiet and calming and loud and exciting. She had wondered for a while if she could ever get truly sick of it, this place that made her feel like she had a place or some other sentiment she would ridicule but still secretly harbored. But she had to be ready to leave.

She just didn't know how it would feel to step off the sprawling campus of the school for the last time as a student, knowing she wouldn't be returning in the fall. In the fall, she would be stepping into the Auror department each day instead of class (because, really, of course she would finish training ahead of time). It excited and scared her more than she could express in words - and she hadn't. The only one who knew about her plans for next year was Harry. He was her second father to her, future boss, and current keeper of her quietly made plans.

Honestly, she didn't know why she hadn't told anyone - it wasn't like it was unexpected. Playing professionally or becoming an Auror was the more logical choice for Claire the brainiac, graduating top of her class as one of the smartest students in years. She was the one who was fierce and talented and strong, beautifully fit for work as an Auror. She knew it, the recruiter and Harry had known months and months beforehand when she was offered the first place in training, everyone knew it.

Sirius knew it and yet he had not made too many comments about it, no intrusive questions. It was strange not telling him, and she knew he was going to freak out - but it was obvious there was too much on his mind and she had no desire to pressure. It was the first thing she had hidden from him in ages and she rationalized it all she wanted - she was still scared about leaving, still worried about telling him, still apprehensive about moving forward with life.

(She was kidding herself, really, by telling herself over and over again that it was the only thing she was hiding from him.)

Claire found him outside in a favorite spot by the lake, a cigarette in one hand as he lay stretched out in the grass. Just as she approached quietly, he was putting out his cigarette and digging out his flask as a replacement. With a deep sigh, she snatched it out of his hand, but out of the goodness of her heart she allowed him to take an unknowingly final sip before her hand came out of nowhere and grabbed it neatly. She smirked and settled beside him, stretching her legs out as she leaned back onto the grass. "Are we going to talk about what's on your mind?" she asked softly. "Because I know I can be scary, but you're never been too scared to talk to me."

She left it settle between them for a moment, before adding, "Don't give me some bullshit about how you don't have anything to talk about. I'm not clueless." She sounded weirdly serious, calm and reflective, although it wasn't too weird in the context of the day. She looked across the lake for a long moment before turning her head to look at him again. Ignoring the stupid pang she felt when she looked at him, she raised an eyebrow inquiringly and waited rather patiently.

[James Sirius Potter]

Just as Sirius had taken a quick sip of his flask it was snatched from him by none other than his best friend Claire. He smiled and rolled his eyes at her as she laid down in the grass next to him. Once again, the fact that everything was changing rolled over him and he sighed lightly. Pretty soon, he might not be seeing Claire every day like he was used to. For the last seventeen years of their lives they had not been apart for more than maybe a week at a one time at most. Now all the sudden he would be off at Quidditch matches all over the world, gone at tournaments for a week at a time, and Claire would be... Well they hadn't really talked about it much but he was sure she was taking the auror job. Which honestly was one reason that the job had any attraction for him at all.

Really, Sirius started to think once again, that maybe that was because there should be more to him and Claire than just friends. But that could also ruin them being friends. What if she didn't think that at all? He shook the thoughts off, as he often did. There was no reason to complicate something that was working perfectly fine, right? Though, with his mind swimming with so many other thoughts they just kept coming back to Claire laying in the grass next to him and the fact that this was the last day things would ever be like this. It was time to go into the "real world" as so many adults threatened them with for so long. Not that he was worried about the real world, it was just starting to feel like a sudden change. Like he had never really mentally prepared for this until just now. Like if he didn't worry about it, maybe he could make this last just a little bit longer.

"Are we going to talk about what's on your mind?" she asked softly. "Because I know I can be scary, but you're never been too scared to talk to me."

"Don't give me some bullshit about how you don't have anything to talk about. I'm not clueless."

"I'm not scared to talk about anything Claire." he said after a minute. (Which was a total lie.) "I guess I'm just trying to take everything in one last time. Didn't really hit me until now that we're leaving today and not coming back next September. It's just weird, ya know?" he rambled for a moment and then rolled on his side facing her and proped himself up on his elbow, head in his hand. "And I guess I'm going to miss all this more than I really thought I would." It was strange for him to be talking about this. Feelings, the future, any of it, was not really something Sirius had ever tried to discuss before. But he knew if there was anyone who could get him to talk about anything it was Claire. And she would make him, too, even if he didn't want to. But he always tried to keep the light atmosphere around him, he hated to stress so he stayed away from stuff like that by drinking and partying and playing Quidditch.

There was more to it than just that, and Sirius knew that. And he knew Claire knew it too. He was worried about them not seeing one another regularly. Even though it was still unspoken, they both knew what each others plans were. Claire was going to become an auror. She was perfect for it, and Sirius knew that. He was going to play professional Quidditch, and continue in his drunken, worry free lifestyle. Although he has been worried about making the wrong decision. For a few reasons, for a while now, he had a gut feeling that something was going on with a girl he had slept with on several occasions. She had never avoided him before but for several weeks now she had been. That made him worry only because his little brother had been telling him for a while he was lucky not to be a father yet the way he partied.

Also,he had this horrible sense that something bad was going to happen some time soon. He was a very observent person regardless of what people might think. That's what makes him a great keeper, he watches everything. And people as a whole, the human race, are always very naieve. They don't tend to see what's right in front of them. And after so many years of peaceful revival for the Wizarding World, it was no wonder people would try to explain stuff away. But Sirius, he liked to know everything he could about history unlike most. He firmly believed that if you don't know about your past you are doomed to repeat it. And his theory was that they were about to repeat history a third time. People had gone missing, muggle animals and people as well as wizards alike were turning up missing or dead more and more often. But no one thought anything of it.

These were the things weighing on his mind that he didn't want to discuss, but knew eventually, he would have to. But for right now, he was still trying to completely come to terms with the first change. No longer being a a student, but an adult equiped with the knowledge for which ever career path he chooses. "It's just hard knowing that everything I know is about to change." he said finally.

words, 947
tags, Claire!
notes, this is a very lot bit rambly. sorry. lol.

[/size]

[Claire Pierce]

Claire couldn’t get over the fact that she wasn’t going to be here tomorrow.

She wasn’t going to spend the night in the common room that wasn’t her own. She wasn’t going to wake up after two hours of sleep and go outside to run as the sun rose. She wasn’t going to eat breakfast with Sirius and go to class. She wasn’t going to run practice and lose herself in playing. There were so many things she wasn’t going to do tomorrow, or anymore at all. Tomorrow she would wake up at home and spend the day with Sirius while wallowing in the bittersweet sense of being at home for more than just the summer.

She didn’t know how to deal with it. Simply put, she wasn’t a fan of that – not knowing, not being ready. She figured Sirius felt the same way. They didn’t always talk about sentimental, emotional things like that. They generally just knew about how each other was feeling, so why should they talk about it to death? That was how Claire rationalized it, at least. Being obnoxious? She could do that. Being honest about what she was facing? Not always.

And now laying out on this grass beside her best friend for the last time as students, she turned her eyes to the sky again and sighed deeply. “I know. It’s the same for me. I don’t really know how to react or what to think or how to feel,” she said, leaning onto her side to face him as well. “I’m going to miss this, I think, more than anything. You and me. This school. Being ridiculous and the best, just the two of us, because it’s always been the two of us.” A small grin appeared; she couldn’t help it. With just a bit of a laugh, she added, “Wow, I guess we know this is big when I’m talking like this.”

Registering another part of what he said, Claire rolled her eyes and shot a look at him that fully mirrored her next words. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re not scared to talk about something. You’re scared, or apprehensive, or confused, or something. I’ve known you since birth – we both know when one of us is one of those things.” For a long moment, she looked away from him, unable to look him in the face without feeling the anxiety and worries rising up in her again. The future was unfathomable to her and she hated that.

“I hate this,” she muttered. Thinking of the two primary jobs she had always been encouraged to follow and planned to pursue, she started talking again, saying, “I want to play professional Quidditch, and work as an Auror, and try other jobs, and continue exploring and learning, and so many other things. And I want to stay here, at least for a while. I don’t feel ready, strangely enough.” She turned back to him, overly conscious of her rambling, and yet it continued. “I hate not feeling ready for this and everything is changing.”

It wasn’t just her life that was changing either - it was his too, and their classmates’, and so many people in their world. In the end, that was probably what pushed her to pursue the career path of becoming an Auror. It wasn’t just that she knew she was on the fast track to status as a real, active Auror, or that it would make her feel more productive and challenged, or that she would be helping. It was that she was needed – Harry had spoken about how they needed people like her, and she wasn’t even taking that in a self-centered manner. They needed people who were passionate and ready to face whatever could come.

But for some reason, she had not told Sirius that she had accepted the position in training. She knew that he had to be sure of it by now, but somehow she couldn’t articulate it. He was probably not going to be by her side as usual; he was going to be off playing at games and not home as often as she was used to. It would certainly be a big adjustment and perhaps the biggest for them, which she simply could not picture or reconcile in her mind.

[James Sirius Potter]

And now laying out on this grass beside her best friend for the last time as students, she turned her eyes to the sky again and sighed deeply. “I know. It’s the same for me. I don’t really know how to react or what to think or how to feel,” she said, leaning onto her side to face him as well. “I’m going to miss this, I think, more than anything. You and me. This school. Being ridiculous and the best, just the two of us, because it’s always been the two of us.” A small grin appeared; she couldn’t help it. With just a bit of a laugh, she added, “Wow, I guess we know this is big when I’m talking like this.”

A smile came to him as she spoke, a small nod with that. He knew exactly what she meant. Tomorrow, everything changed. Forever. His daily routine of waking up, running, breakfast with claire, classes, lunch with claire, classes, quidditch practice, then dinner and hanging out with claire for the night unless there was a big party going on. How different would things be now that they would no longer be living in the Castle together as they had for most of the last seven years? Again Sirius mind wandered to the thought of them as more than they are. But once again he reminded himself that there was a reason he didn't want to do that. He knew he couldn't be loyal to her in the way she deserved. He would go to a party and not even think, and since he already knew he would ruin everything, then why chance it? Maybe one day he would be ready for that, but right now he knew he wasn't.

"It is pretty intense stuff going on here though. It's like everything is supposed to prepare us for this moment, but then they just throw us out there. Like birds learning to fly, but I have a feeling at least half the students in our year aren't ready for this. But we will make it." he told her with a reassuring smile. "Now that we will be able to apparate, whenever I need all the answers, I'll be to you in seconds. For a bit I might just do it to see how often I can do it before you try to kill me." he added in to hopefully get a smile with a little less tension in it from her.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re not scared to talk about something. You’re scared, or apprehensive, or confused, or something. I’ve known you since birth – we both know when one of us is one of those things.”

When she spoke again Sirius looked down at the grass sighing heavily. "Aren't scared and apprehensive almost the same thing? But I guess its somewhere between them all. I got more offers than I expected and I just don't know which one I'm going to take..." Honestly, that was the problem, without getting into spesifics like the fact that the only real decision was his number one choice for Quidditch teams and the job as an auror. And the worst aprt of that was that he had less time than he would like to think about it. He didn't want to make these decisions yet, he wanted to just keep things going the way they are. It would be so much simpler that way.

Suddenly his thoughts were interupted when Claire said, “I hate this,” and he nodded in return. "You and me both," he managed to say before she started speaking again. “I want to play professional Quidditch, and work as an Auror, and try other jobs, and continue exploring and learning, and so many other things. And I want to stay here, at least for a while. I don’t feel ready, strangely enough.” Without really thinking he laid back down in the grass, staring at the sky and said, "Welcome to my world."

Then she told him how she hated all the uncertainty of the future. He nodded once again, and slipped his flask back from her hand sitting up to take a sip, then closing it and placing it back in her lap -just because he knew she would take it from him again anyway. "Nothing will be this routine or this predictable ever again. No matter which career we choose, everything is going to change from here on out. There are a million choices to make and for every one of those there is a million different things that could come of it. So were you ever planning on telling me you took the job?" he said with a small grin on his face, because he really was happy for her. He knew she would be brilliant at that job and it really was perfect for her. Which in the end was another of those factors making him wonder if it was the right job for him as well...



words,  843 (with a lot of copy and paste text...)
tags, claire!
notes, its okayish. hope you like it. Merry Christmas!

[Claire Pierce]

Claire sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and just letting the moment rest between them, the last moment of lying on the grounds like this, just the two of them. “I just… really love this place,” she said quietly. “I think one day I’ll love whatever is coming, but right now it doesn’t seem that way yet.” When she opened her eyes and looked over at him again, there was a bit of a smile on his face and she smiled back too, although it all felt very bittersweet to her.

“I feel like I’ve tried to prepare for this for so long, you know? I’ve spent so long thinking about this and yet I still don’t feel ready to leave,” she mused. “I feel like I should be ready to, but I’m not. God, I hate that.” She couldn’t help but laugh finally when he described his plans to see her all the time. “Yeah, seriously, what will you do without my guidance? I will kill you when you show up constantly, but you know I won’t really mind. I love to exert my influence, of course,” she finished with a teasing smile.

He finally let out, “Welcome to my world,” and Claire sat up instantly, smirking triumphantly. “I knew it! I knew you weren’t one hundred percent sure of taking the pro offer!” she said in a very self-satisfied way, but beneath being pleased about knowing her best friend to the core, she was reflecting on it and analyzing what must be going on in his head, because it was the automatic response before she could respond.

He grabbed his flask from her before she could speak. She didn’t protest, only giving him a dark, displeased look while he took a long sip from it. He handed it back to her without being prompted, which at least decreased the strength of the look she was giving him. Claire considered it darkly, as if it was the worst object on the planet, before she set it out of his reach.

Sirius reflected out loud for a moment, until finally coming out and saying it – “So were you ever planning on telling me you took the job?” Claire shifted uncomfortably, instantly responding with, “Were you ever planning on telling me that you were actually considering the Auror offer?” She looked at him with an expression that clearly read, come on – you knew I had to know. She sighed and then said, “Yes, I was. It got later and later in the year and then… I don’t know. I knew they wanted you too, and I didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable that I was going for it and you didn’t know if you wanted to or not.” Looking down on him from where she was still sitting up, she shrugged helplessly. “I just didn’t know what to say, really. I didn’t want to try to convince you of it if you didn’t want it.”

A new thought, a new fear, popped into her head, and she couldn’t help saying something. “Promise me,” she began quietly but strongly, “Promise me that we’re not just going to drift and never see each other, if you choose to play professionally.” It was admitting a fear of hers, even as she knew that it was irrational – they both knew how strong their friendship was, and yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that so much was going to change in the coming weeks and months. Why, the fearful part of her reasoned, would this be untouched? But the other part of her reasoned that when it came down to the end, there would always be the two of them, being idiots together and close as ever.

She didn’t like all this nostalgia and unsure feeling plaguing her, not at all.

[James Sirius Potter]

When she told him that she just really loved the castle and that maybe one day she would like what was coming, but right now she just wasn't sure about it, he nodded again. "It's all the uncertainty of the future. The fact that its just constant change is what bothers me the most. The way I see it is, things will never be this stable and routine and predictable ever again. And with the chaos we stir up, predictable isn't really a thing, so that's saying something." During the last seven years, students had come to know them as some of the biggest pranking trouble makers since the Weasley twins. A lot of his cousins also tried to out do the twins, but it really hadn't been done yet. But if anyone had gotten close, it was Sirius and Claire. Sirius hardly ever got in trouble because he had the perfect alabi, he was with Claire when it happened. At this thought he smiled to himself, remembering that things wouldn't be like that any longer after today.

“I feel like I’ve tried to prepare for this for so long, you know? I’ve spent so long thinking about this and yet I still don’t feel ready to leave,” she mused. “I feel like I should be ready to, but I’m not. God, I hate that.”

"I don't think any of us are, honestly. I think its impossible to really be ready for this." This whole thing was just such an odd feeling. He felt accomplished in a way, he had made it through school with decent grades to most peoples surprise because of the way he acted. He had also gotten far more job offers than he had expected even if most of them were quidditch. That's what he had focused on for seven years anyway so getting that many offers was actually rather impressive. He got more offers than anyone else that played in his year. All the accomplishment aside though, it was facing reality for the first time that bothered him about it. Sure, he had imagined it before. In every different scenario he could think of. Never had it seemed this... scary? Yes, that must be the right word for it.

“Yeah, seriously, what will you do without my guidance? I will kill you when you show up constantly, but you know I won’t really mind. I love to exert my influence, of course,”

Chuckling he smiled at her. "If you really don't mind, then you shouldn't try to kill me. Even if I am getting on your nerves." So maybe the constant apparating idea was a bit unrealistic, he wouldn't be able to any time. They would both have jobs to be at and he couldn't just stop what he was doing to interupt what she was doing. But it sure did sound like things would be the same. Even though something kept making him worry that they wouldn't be. He knew they wouldn't just stop being friends. Stop seeing eachother and stop talking. He knew that wouldn't happen, it would drive him mad and he knew it would do the same to her. Suddenly though, his thoughts were interupted after he said, "Welcome to my world," because Claire caught that and all the meaning behind it. Whether he had meant to tell her or not, now she knew.

“I knew it! I knew you weren’t one hundred percent sure of taking the pro offer!”

Sirius sighed and this was when he grabbed his flask to take a drink, handing it back to Claire. He watched as she put it just a bit far enough to be out of arms reach, knowing how lazy he could be. He shook his head with a small smile. "I was until the offer actually became official," he said sort of softly. Then she asked if he planned on telling her that he was seriously considering the job. "I guess I kind of assumed I might get the offer, but at the same time I didn't really expect it. People around don't necessesarily know me as the responsible type, ya know? Not really auror matierial, unlike you." He wasn't sure he really wanted to get into all that now. He had only just started to seriously consider the offer. The closer he got to having to make a decision, the more he stressed over it. So the more he had been drinking as well. After all, that was how he got to not think about it for a while. Or if he was, it just didn't seem as stressful once he finally managed to catch a buzz. Now seemed like a good time to turn the conversation away from himself, so he brought up that Claire needed to fess up about having taken the auror job.

“Yes, I was. It got later and later in the year and then… I don’t know. I knew they wanted you too, and I didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable that I was going for it and you didn’t know if you wanted to or not.” Looking down on him from where she was still sitting up, she shrugged helplessly. “I just didn’t know what to say, really. I didn’t want to try to convince you of it if you didn’t want it.”

Nodding he knew that what she said was true. It made sense, to him honestly. After all, he had been avoiding talking about it with her too. They had been putting this conversation off for quite a long time, never really talking about the future together out loud. Maybe it was because neither wanted to disappoint the other. They both had to do what they knew would be best in the end. Claire had made her decision, but maybe she hadn't wanted to disappoint him that they wouldn't be traveling together playing professionally. He was afraid to tell her he was considering the auror offer because he didn't want to get her hopes up that he might be with her, and then choose Quidditch anyway. These were things they didn't really have to talk about though. In the end, they always knew how the other was feeling about something. They could almost always tell what the other was going to do before they did it. He supposed that was just how it was when you had known someone literally your whole life.

After she spoke, he continued to be quiet for a moment, reflecting on everything they had been talking about. Then he heard her voice again, her words ringing in his ears. “Promise me,” she began quietly but strongly, “Promise me that we’re not just going to drift and never see each other, if you choose to play professionally.” At this, Sirius simply smiled at her, the way he did only for her, not the flirting smile, not the mischevious smile, but the one that was reserved for Claire alone. Then he said, "Claire, I can promise that until the day I die, we wont stop being friends. I'm always going to be around. Face it, you're stuck with me."





words, 1202
tags, claire!
notes, i don't know where the muse came from, but i actually kinda like this post. especially now that the coding works right.

[Claire Pierce]

“I think I never realized how much I liked the routine, the stable and constant expectations of what I would wake up to and what I would do with my day. It was predictable, as much as we could be predicable within all our own chaos. But this isn’t chaos we can control,” Claire said with a sigh, contemplating the next few weeks and what would come after that. For a few weeks, they would still have summer, normal as ever: Claire and Sirius would spend their days together, talking, playing small games with the family, pulling pointless but entertaining pranks on the family, and enjoying the extent of summer that they would have. They wouldn’t have classes, but otherwise it wouldn’t be too drastically different from their school lives. The primary difference was that they would have the future looming over them and quickly approaching, as Claire would prepare for her training beginning in July and Sirius would struggle to decide his path, if he didn’t know by then. He would either follow her in July or he would go separately, heading to his initial training and practices with the best team in the country.

Part of her had truly wanted to accept the same offer he received, and take it with him – they had both received the offers from teams, and one team, the best team, had wanted both of them. They would unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with, if she chose to be their new seeker and Sirius the new keeper. They would continue to spend every day together, doing something they absolutely loved without the stress and worries of being an Auror.

But she couldn’t lie to herself and say she didn’t want that stress and worry more than she wanted to play, and she didn’t admit it out loud, but she desperately wished Sirius would join her. Either way, the future felt a little better when she thought about Sirius there in some way.

“You knew you were going to get an offer from them, Sirius,” she scoffed. “It was nearly as obvious and expected as me getting the offer. You’re irresponsible and reckless, yes, but in the end, you’re talented and more than capable. You would be a great Auror – I know it, the people there know it, even you must know it.” But she smiled a little, a bit reassuringly, and added, “But I guess it didn’t hit you until it was right there in front of you, really happening.” She studied him for a long moment, his face clearly displayed his worries and stress and desire not to think about it as well. “I’m not going to pressure you, or try to convince you, Sirius. I just don’t want you to take it out immediately because you don’t think you’re good enough, or ready, or wanting something like that.”

Claire knew she wanted him to take the Auror offer, and it wasn’t only so they would be working together. She felt that it would be the better thing for him, especially in the long run, and the more fitting thing for him. It was rarely said out loud, but she knew that he could be such a good person; a leader, successful, more responsible, dedicated. There was so much in him that she felt would be covered up or something if he became a professional player, whereas becoming an Auror would use all his talents and good qualities.

She briefly wondered if, because Sirius always knew what she was thinking and feeling, and vice versa, he could tell. If he could figure out or get any of her thoughts without her having to say it and pressure him. Maybe then he could tell that she thought the Auror path would be better for him.

Now she was distracted by his smile; the smile that was for her only graced his face now, and she could not help smiling back before she even heard what he said. "Claire, I can promise that until the day I die, we wont stop being friends. I'm always going to be around. Face it, you're stuck with me." Surprising herself, she yanked him up from the ground with a simple pull that people wouldn’t expect from someone her size against someone of Sirius’ size, and hugged him. It was intended to be brief, but she didn’t pull away quickly, her thin arms wrapped around him for a long moment in an action that she rarely did. He smelled a bit like cigarette smoke, his hair was much too long (she reminded herself to make him get it cut soon, trimmed at the very least), and he was still surprised at being jerked up from the ground, but she still enjoyed the momentary physical closeness that she usually wasn’t fond of.

When she did pull away, she simply smiled, looked embarrassed, and said, “Sorry. I’ve just been really scared of us… not being friends anymore. We’re closer than normal friends, and I honestly don’t know how I would get through anything without you. Don’t make me figure that out, okay?”

God, she was emotional and sentimental today.

She hated it.



notes: sorry this sucks and it's dumb and i rambled

[James Sirius Potter]

As she spoke he nodded, they both had the same feeling about all this. The future, life, fears and excitement somehow all rolled into one. It was the biggest part of their lives ever since their Hogwarts letters arrived seven years ago. If school was supposed to prepare them, then why did they both feel so unprepared? School and the adult working world are two completely different worlds. They may have been taught a few things here and there, learned more on their own probably, but there was no way in hell that classes every day had taught them everything that they really needed to know. Sirius felt like really, they may know about a quarter of what was important, if that much at all. If he chose Quidditch things would mostly change by traveling far more than he ever had before. But as an auror, he would work some long nights, get into a few scrapes here and there, and be protecting people. He had seen his dad do it for years, and either one was going to take up almost all of his time.

“You knew you were going to get an offer from them, Sirius,” she scoffed. “It was nearly as obvious and expected as me getting the offer. You’re irresponsible and reckless, yes, but in the end, you’re talented and more than capable. You would be a great Auror – I know it, the people there know it, even you must know it.” But she smiled a little, a bit reassuringly, and added, “But I guess it didn’t hit you until it was right there in front of you, really happening.”

As Sirius listened to her speaking he shook his head a little, but he knew she was right. He had never considered the career before, not wanting to follow in his fathers footsteps but to make his own success. He did not want anyone to think that if he made it well in the Department of Mysteries that it was because his dad ran the department. Quidditch had always been the thing that Sirius tried to excell at, wanting to be better than anyone because of his competitive nature. But that day when he took the entry exam in that aurors recruiting class, and the test had been so easy, and the physical training and been a breeze, he started to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to decide on quidditch. But that thought left him until the man came back to offer him the job and Sirius had made him promise not to let his dad find out he was going to consider it. He didn't want anyone else's opinions on this matter, it was the most important decision he was going to make and he wanted it to be his and his alone.

"I guess you're right. I did kind of know, I just didn't want to actually consider it unless the offer actually came up. I wasn't going to go for it, if I'm meant to do it, then I would get the offer... Then I actually did, and I'm forced to make a decision, there's no way I can do both so it's one or the other." Maybe this above everything else, was what got to him the most. The simple fact that he had to make a decision and live with whatever it is for the rest of his life was the thing that was scaring him most these days. That plus the fear that he and Claire wont see each other as much. But that fear was going to set in the worst right before they start careers. For now, they still had a couple months where things can be as normal as they have been for years. Then toward the end of summer was when it all really changed.

“I’m not going to pressure you, or try to convince you, Sirius. I just don’t want you to take it out immediately because you don’t think you’re good enough, or ready, or wanting something like that.”

Smiling a little bit he said, "Thank you," because that was the only thing that could cover everything he felt. He was glad that she was not going to be pushing him towards one path or the other, she was just there to tell him to honestly consider every point of every option. Probably just as she had when she made her decision. But Claire was better at lists, organization and decision making and all that than he was. And once she made a decisions she stuck with it. That's more than Sirius could say for himself. He bounced back and forth with everything whether it be food, girls, quidditch styles and techniques or which job he wanted more. He just couldn't ever seem to make up his mind.

Then she brought up how much she worried, just as he did, that they wouldn't have enough time for each other anymore. Smiling he had told her that she was stuck with him and when he said it he meant it. Then she pulled him up from the ground and even her being so small was able to bring him to his feet, then she embraced him tightly and he wrapped his arms around her small frame, still smiling, resting is chin on the top of her head. They were not normally this emotional, but today was a different kind of day. Both of them were feeling much more than usual, and once again he was glad that he had her around because she was the only one he shared emotions like this with, ever. No one else, not even his little brother.

When she did pull away, she simply smiled, looked embarrassed, and said, “Sorry. I’ve just been really scared of us… not being friends anymore. We’re closer than normal friends, and I honestly don’t know how I would get through anything without you. Don’t make me figure that out, okay?"

"Trust me, I need you around just as much as you need me. And I'll even admit probably more. No matter what happens, I'm always going to be around." he said trying to be as comforting as he could be in this situation.




notes, i don't feel like going to the word counter or spell checker or anything mostly because i'm about to have to get off for a bit and go to the store. so here's the post! hope its okay.

[Claire Pierce]

Claire was both excited for and terrified of adulthood. After all, this place has been home to them for seven years. It has been a mess of Sirius’ detentions and girlfriends and bad habits, of Claire’s supposedly angelic behavior and insomnia and coffee addiction. It has been a constant whirlwind of schoolwork and people, of pranks and quidditch, of sneaking around and making memories. It was at this school that Claire decided what she wanted to do, but also where she succeeded and failed, where her fears started and her goals grew and some many of her good memories come from. With Sirius, she’s laughed and cried, talked and planned, joked and fallen apart. And so she can’t bear to leave it behind, when she doesn’t know everything that will come. How much will she see Sirius? What will she face?

She could tell that Sirius was feeling the same way; neither of them could really vocalize it. For two such loud and outspoken people, they were being quite silent about this, and it surprised her.

She didn’t want to feel unprepared: she was Claire Pierce, she was always prepared for anything. She was glad that she was more sure than Sirius, at least, but after the routine and comfort and familiarity of the past seven years, she wasn’t quite ready to see what would come next. It would feel better with Sirius at her side, she knew, but he wasn’t even sure yet. The fact that he was still considering the offer at least was a bit reassuring; he wasn’t completely turned off from it because of his father being the head of the Auror Department, or that it wouldn’t be the more carefree and untroubled lifestyle of a professional athlete. Claire wanted trouble and craziness; she wanted challenges. She didn’t want to see Sirius go into that other lifestyle – she was too worried about how it would affect him, not just their friendship.

Sirius admitted that he guessed she was right (when did he not admit that, she would normally think with a smirk), he did know that he was going to get offered a place like she did. “I know it’s a tough decision,” she said. “It’s hard to know what’s right and better, I guess.” He didn’t have too much longer to decide, and there was not much longer after that if he decided to take a different path than she was planning on. That was terrifyingly close for her, and she chose not to think about it if she could avoid it.

Happy that she wasn’t going to push him one way or the other, Sirius thanked her, prompting her casual response. “Of course.” She smiled a little, saying lightly, “If you want to make pro-con lists and comparisons or debate every side and point of each options, I’m here. You know I like lists and all those things.” After all, Claire was the queen of that. When she couldn’t make a decision, she did all of those things until she could choose, and she would willingly help Sirius too. He had listened to her for so long that he deserved help with his decision, if he wanted it.

Claire obviously had not already mentally made many of those lists herself for him to weigh the different sides on her own. Of course not.

She was distracted now by Sirius responding to her hug as he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head. Neither of them were usually so emotional and physically close, but both of them knew that this day was special. She could barely even remember the last time they hugged (very beginning of the year, she thought absently, when she broke down a bit?). In the end, Sirius was pretty much the only one she shared things with, the only one who saw her cry or who hugged her. She was never going to stop being grateful for him, even though she teased him constantly, would argue with him, be competitive and crazy and plenty of other things. “I guess that’s our yearly hug,” she joked half-heartedly when they pulled away from each other.

He made her his promise and she couldn’t help but smile again, even more glad than she would admit. “I’m going to hold you to that,” she assured him. “You say you need me? Of course you do,” she added cheekily. Couldn’t resist.