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Post by Claire Pierce on Nov 21, 2016 20:45:25 GMT -5
"Had I gotten a single one of those letters… I would’ve written back… Had I gotten the invitation I probably would’ve been there… For whatever reason I didn’t, but I wish I had," he said, and she stayed quiet for a long moment. She knew she was making him uncomfortable, but she couldn't help it and she couldn't help the desire to make him squirm a bit, even after the time that had passed since his initial return. "I wish you had too," she said, not sure what to say to that. There was nothing left to say about the letters apparently not reaching him and his end of writing back. She had said more than enough, she found now, although she felt she needed to say all of that. It had helped her get to this point, after all. He sighed, and replied, "Well, maybe not you in particular… and I told you it was a crazy idea, I never entirely believed it, but I couldn’t figure out why people would just stop writing right after we… broke up or whatever you call what happened with us." "I can't believe this was all a misunderstanding, in a way," she said with a sigh. "Would you have still stayed away, though? If the letters hadn't stopped? If I had tracked you down myself?"
Teddy gave up his protests and grinned, asking, "There’s nothing I can do to win here, is there?" So he did still know her, she thought, a joke even in her own head. "Nope," she said, a trace of glee present in her tone. It was rare these days, and had been for a while, but the prospect of telling stories about Teddy to his sons upon meeting them still delighted her. "Sorry!" she added. There was absolutely no apology in it, and Teddy couldn't expect it. Claire had to find her fun somewhere these days, and tormenting Teddy in a variety of ways was one thing she could do. This proposed dinner was sounding better and better as she thought of a few stories already; by the time they come over she would have sorted through her extensive library of stories. It would be somewhat strange to meet his sons - it was still a weird reality to her - and see teenaged Teddy looking back at her in two bodies. They probably even shared his stupid grin. But embarrassing their father, who she would always maintained deserved it, would be great fun for her. She didn't think it would actually be too painful for him though; a lot of the memories were good ones, funny and occasionally embarrassing but still treasured memories, even if she had carefully packed them away.
He frowned and was quiet after she admitted that she had been in the hospital and continued with her circuitous answer. "What were you in the hospital for? I mean, you’re okay now obviously, but why didn’t Sirius or someone tell me? I mean, I would’ve liked to know at least… and it’s not to say I’m not enjoying having you around more lately, but I don’t see why you had to keep that from me… " he said, pushing her a bit. Claire had deflected and gotten evasive in her responses, but Teddy was being persistent. She thought she saw some worry on his face now, and she almost looked away reflexively, but kept herself casual.
"I got hurt during some fieldwork," she admitted, shrugging it off. "Don't worry about it. t wasn't really serious," she added, lying smoothly; she hated acknowledging any failures, and getting injured fell under that idea of failure. In all her years as an auror, Claire had rarely gotten hurt. It was Sirius who ended up in the hospital with broken bones or spell damage, while she had a combination of immense skill to evade and defend herself against curses and injury, athletic skill, and the self-control and intense rational thought under pressure. There was also probably some very good luck thrown in there for good measure. And it was more than not wanting to admit perceived failure and weakness: Claire didn't want to worry Teddy either. Telling Teddy what had happened, just one part of a long series of events, would only freak him out and make him concerned. She didn't need another person worried about her, and she didn't want to take away from him the assumption of peace and calm and safety. He was back home; she didn't want to push him away or chase him back out of London.
"Don't be offended, Teddy," Claire added. "I didn't really tell anyone. Sirius was there, of course, and my father, but I didn't go out of my way to tell anyone. I'm sure Harry and Ginny found out from Sirius. The aurors only know that I was out, I think." She toyed with the end of her shirt sleeve for a moment, and then further explained, softer, "I don't like to tell people, when something happens to me. That's all that happened, Teddy." There was something of an apology there in her voice, even if she couldn't actually say it herself.
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Post by Theodore Remus Lupin on Nov 27, 2016 5:05:32 GMT -5
"I can't believe this was all a misunderstanding, in a way," she said with a sigh. "Would you have still stayed away, though? If the letters hadn't stopped? If I had tracked you down myself?" This was a hard question for Teddy to answer, and he thought about it for a long moment before finally speaking. “I don’t know…” he said sadly, but honestly. “I would like to say absolutely, but I don’t want to lie to you either… I might not have come back permanently, like I am now… but I would like to think I would have been around a lot more.” To be honest, he had never really considered what he would do if he had heard from anyone or ran into anyone over the years – he more or less just ran on the assumption that the chances of that were so minuscule with him traveling that it really didn’t matter.
After giving in and admitting defeat when it came to Claire giving his sons complete access to her extensive amount of stories from their youth, she apologized – but the look on her face and the tone in her voice told him she didn’t mean it for a second; and he expected nothing less. “You are not sorry, and you and I both know that.” he said with a grin. It was going to be an interesting experience, letting his sons start to meet the family he left behind – but he couldn’t think of two better people to start with than Claire and Sirius. Aside from Victorie, the two of them were probably the friends and family he was closest to back then, Sirius practically a brother and Claire very much like a little sister to him. He always knew they would get to meet his boys one day – but he had never actually prepared himself for when that day finally came.
"I got hurt during some fieldwork," she admitted, shrugging it off. "Don't worry about it. t wasn't really serious," she told him. Teddy looked down at his plate of food, no longer thinking about eating it, but rather shifting it around the plate with his fork. “Well it was serious enough that they told you to stay home from work.” he said, not quite speaking full volume now, almost feeling bad for prodding – but knowing he couldn’t continue to live feeling like he was being left completely in the dark. “I’ve had my share of nasty bites, burns and more – and the healers don’t usually recommend weeks at a time to recover unless it’s serious… I’m just saying,” he told her, continuing to shift stuff around his plate.
"Don't be offended, Teddy," Claire added. "I didn't really tell anyone. Sirius was there, of course, and my father, but I didn't go out of my way to tell anyone. I'm sure Harry and Ginny found out from Sirius. The aurors only know that I was out, I think." She toyed with the end of her shirt sleeve for a moment, and then further explained, softer, "I don't like to tell people, when something happens to me. That's all that happened, Teddy." To this Teddy sighed – to be fair he could understand where she was coming from when it came to keeping such things private. More than once he had sent word to his ex-girlfriend saying he would be staying in another country for an extra week or two simply so she had his boys wouldn’t have to see him looking weak after being injured – usually from trying to deal with a creature by himself that generally required multiple experienced hands.
“I still wish you would’ve told me, but I guess I can’t hold that against you…” he said, setting down his fork and instead picking up his mug of butterbeer again and taking a long, slow sip. Then he locked his blue eyes on hers again. “However… I’m still not convinced that’s all that’s going on. Things were weird when I first got back, but they’ve been feeling more and more off lately and I don’t like feeling like I’m walking around completely clueless. So help me out here, Claire… I don’t like feeling so lost…” Teddy looked back down at his mug, adding softly, “I thought coming home would get rid of that feeling, and in some ways it has, but in others it’s entirely worse… I need to have a better idea of what I’ve missed…”
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Post by Claire Pierce on Nov 29, 2016 0:35:52 GMT -5
”I don’t know… I don’t know…” he said sadly, but honestly. “I would like to say absolutely, but I don’t want to lie to you either… I might not have come back permanently, like I am now… but I would like to think I would have been around a lot more,” Teddy answered, obviously trying to be honest with her. ”I should have just found you and dragged you back for family dinners,” she said, sighing. Claire wasn't sure where she was going with this conversation. Teddy knew her thoughts on the matter by now, and had listened to her talk and rant and yell about it for weeks. He had tried to explain things to her, but this was the most she had gotten out of him throughout the whole time. It was certainly appreciated, even if she was still frustrated, but she didn't know what else she wanted from him or what she expected. Some more time and some more effort might be all they both needed.
”You are not sorry, and you and I both know that,” he said with a grin. She smiled back angelically, something she never did anymore. "I would never dream of being so mean," Claire replied. "The stories are all in good fun. All from a place of great affection," she added, placing a hand over her heart in mock sincerity. Of course, they were from a place of great affection alongside her old habits of mischief and teasing and a bit of a penchant for tormenting others, as they would call it. She had no shortage of fond memories of their childhood and adolescent years together; she could only imagine the stories and experiences they would have had as adults if he had not left.
He was moving food around on his plate instead of eating now, not looking at her, as he spoke again. “Well it was serious enough that they told you to stay home from work. I’ve had my share of nasty bites, burns and more – and the healers don’t usually recommend weeks at a time to recover unless it’s serious… I’m just saying,” he said, and she frowned at him for a moment. ”Well, bites from magical creatures are not the same thing as injuries sustained in the field when you’re an auror,” she snapped, thinking of all of the injuries she had seen in her two decades as an auror: things that had happened to her colleagues, to Sirius, and even to herself. Teddy probably just didn't have any idea about those injuries - why would he? Because of his work, he had to be familiar with accidents related to the creatures he handled, not the damage from curses, hexes, and dark magic that Claire encountered through her own work. The serious dark curse that had landed her in the hospital a couple of weeks ago would be new and shocking to him. The severe injuries Sirius had suffered from a few months ago - broken bones and other spell damage - were not caused by magical creatures either. She had seen such a wide range of the harm that magic could inflict on the body, from herself to Sirius to the aurors who worked under her.
Teddy sighed in response to her desire for privacy, although Claire knew her private nature was a bit more than not wanting people to see her stuck in a hospital bed. It was also that she did not want to drag Teddy and the others in her life into the darker, dangerous side of her life. “I still wish you would’ve told me, but I guess I can’t hold that against you…” he said. "It wasn't a big deal," Claire said, lying again. "Just a nasty curse," she added, trying to brush it off. "If I had told you, then others would know too, and you would have come to the hospital, and I'd have a bunch of people coming to see me. Seeing me in a hospital bed isn't fun for either of us," she pointed out, skirting around how self-conscious that made her feel. "But then I went home. It's better to see me at school than at the hospital." She shrugged, trying to diffuse the situation; she didn't want to get into this difficult conversation with him just then, in the village for a regular lunch, or anytime soon for that matter.
"I'm still not convinced that's all that's going on. Things were weird when I first got back, but they’ve been feeling more and more off lately and I don’t like feeling like I’m walking around completely clueless. So help me out here, Claire," Teddy continued. Claire's expression tightened as she met his pleading gaze with her stony look. He was pushing her now, even when he was speaking softly and kindly. ”You don’t want to know,” she replied, losing some of her composure as her voice turned hard. "You lost the right to know when you left us all and missed everything that happened. You weren't here." Claire had been trying so hard to be calmer and more civil with him recently. She really did want to mend their relationship, but there was a lot they had yet to talk about. Claire had avoided discussing the details of her work or the sad and dangerous events of the previous years that he had missed. It seemed that everyone else was following her example; instead of not only not wanting to bring up those heavy, upsetting topics, they seemed to see that Claire and Sirius had decided it was unsafe or at least to be avoided. They were all striving for some kind of normalcy and calm, a regular everyday existence that was not destroyed by everything that had happened and was still happening now. But now she was frustrated again, getting bitter about his absence even as she tried to control it. "What do you want from me, Teddy? A summary of marriages and kids and jobs with a quick outline of injuries and deaths thrown in there for good measure?"
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Post by Theodore Remus Lupin on Dec 3, 2016 2:12:43 GMT -5
When Claire asked him if he would have come back if she had tracked him down, he tried to answer as honestly as possible. It was such a hard thing to give a true answer about because there was just no way to know how he would have reacted – he had thought on it several times but since it never actually happened, he had never really had a plan of action for the situation; after a few years he sort of figured it wouldn’t ever happen and he hadn’t turned out to be wrong. However, the fact that this entire situation had been miscommunication – at least when it came to Claire, and likely a few other family members – only made him feel more guilty about the time he had been away.
”I should have just found you and dragged you back for family dinners,” she said, sighing. A rather sad looking smile came across his face as he looked at her now – they both seemed to wish things had gone differently, but what was there that could possibly be done about it now? All they could do was try and mend their friendship, and move forward into the future from here – even if more than twenty years had passed, they still had plenty of time ahead of them to make up for it, or at least try to. Teddy sighed as well, “Well, I think we’re doing fairly well at making up for it – I’ve been to more family dinners in the last few months than I can keep track of. To be honest, if I ever get anything done in that damn house I bought and am never at, I was thinking of inviting people over finally…”
"I would never dream of being so mean," Claire replied. "The stories are all in good fun. All from a place of great affection," and the angelic smile, the mocking sincerity, it was just all so very Claire and he couldn’t help smile. At one point, this had been the two of them, day in and day out, and even if it was short lived, it was nice to have recaptured that feeling. No matter what was going on in Claire and Sirius lives that she simply wasn’t willing to talk to him about, he hoped that the two of them wouldn’t ever lose themselves to it, at least not entirely – it was nice to see Claire appearing relaxed and at ease about things for a moment – unfortunately he had to pull them away from such things and he did when he pushed her to the point of her finally admitting she had been injured in the field and had been in the hospital and on medical leave for the last few weeks.
Claire tried to play it off like it was nothing and Teddy quickly tried to put a stop to that – they don’t just put you on medical leave for a minor injury he pointed out, using himself as an example, which she clearly didn’t appreciate. ”Well, bites from magical creatures are not the same thing as injuries sustained in the field when you’re an auror,” she snapped. To this he sighed and said, “I never said they were, only that they wouldn’t recommend weeks of healing for a minor injury.” Sighing again, he continued, “My point is, if I’ve spent up to a week to recover from burns from handling a seriously pissed off mother occamy or a tiny, feisty, little fire crab for that matter – and months sometimes after dealing with certain dragons – then I can imagine anything you deal with is much more severe. Therefore, it would not fall under the category of “not serious”.”
After that, Teddy hoped he had made his point clear – he wasn’t trying to compare the two professions, not by a long-shot, rather he was trying to make her realize that what might be “not a big deal” to her, was definitely a big deal to someone who doesn’t deal with it on a regular basis. She continued to try and downplay her situation – make it seem as though it really hadn’t been a big deal but he wasn’t buying any of it. However, he knew he wouldn’t convince her to admit otherwise, especially as she continued to talk, telling him how she didn’t want everyone visiting in the hospital and that it was just better to see each other here – and he nodded in agreement. “Well, I suppose I should be glad you told me at all then. You clearly weren’t planning on it…”
It was after that when he really started to push her – and he knew he was doing it, although he tried to keep it calm, speaking softly and trying to make her realize this all came from a good place. In the end, that was clearly not the message she had walked away with. ”You don’t want to know,” she replied, losing some of her composure as her voice turned hard. "You lost the right to know when you left us all and missed everything that happened. You weren't here." He had been just about to speak, when in the expected Claire fashion, she continued to speak, sounding bitter, angry and upset, more emotion seeping into her words than she probably wanted. "What do you want from me, Teddy? A summary of marriages and kids and jobs with a quick outline of injuries and deaths thrown in there for good measure?"
Sighing, he stopped pushing food around his plate, now leaning back in his seat as he ran his hands in his hair one after the other, a look somewhere between frustration and hurt that he was trying to bury before meeting her gaze again. “You know what, you’re right. I left. I wasn’t here… and for a long time, I didn’t think I was ever going to come back – and now here I fucking am, and with absolutely no intention of leaving. It's not like I just stopped thinking about you guys… and since I've been back you've both given me plenty of reasons to worry about you... So forgive me for wanting to know what the hell is going on with the people I’m supposed to call best friends...” Averting his eyes again, he continued. “While I’m sure if I was looking for a file with everything I missed you would be the first person I would go to, no, I don’t need all of that… Just some sort of idea of what the hell I’ve missed… I want to be around for you guys now that I'm back… If there’s ever anything I can do to help, I want to be able to do it… but I can’t if you keep everything a secret from me like I’m a kid who needs protecting.”
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Post by Claire Pierce on Dec 4, 2016 2:34:51 GMT -5
Teddy smiled sadly at her across the table, which affected her more than she would have expected. Claire looked away for a minute, a little uncomfortable with how personal things were getting. She didn’t want to get emotional; she had to keep her composure and her emotions carefully controlled, because that’s just how she was. She looked back as he spoke, saying, “Well, I think we’re doing fairly well at making up for it – I’ve been to more family dinners in the last few months than I can keep track of. To be honest, if I ever get anything done in that damn house I bought and am never at, I was thinking of inviting people over finally…” At this she smiled a little. ”Trust me, I’d force you to go to other things if we were doing anything else recently. We’re all busy, and family dinners are an easy thing to do,” she said, shrugging. ”But I’m sure there’s a quidditch game, or a birthday party, or some relative getting married soon. We’ll switch up your family time soon enough.” She was serious, but there was a bit of humor to it. ”That would be nice. And it’ll be nice to you over to spend some time at my place with me and Sirius,” she added, letting him off the hook with his sons; they were going to come, of course, but she was going to stop bothering him about them for now.
Just like how Teddy’s easy, happy grin disappeared as he changed the subject, any of Claire’s relaxed and amused mood melted away very quickly. He countered her rebuttal immediately, saying, “I never said they were, only that they wouldn’t recommend weeks of healing for a minor injury,” and going on about injuries caused by creatures he dealt with before pointing out, ”I can imagine anything you deal with is much more severe. Therefore, it would not fall under the category of “not serious”.” Resisting the urge to cross her arms and lean back warily and defensively, she replied, as evenly as she could manage, ”Fine, it was relatively serious, but I’ve seen worse. It was a nasty curse that the healers handled right away, so I just had to rest. They put me on a longer medical leave than I really need. See - obviously I’m fine.” Claire was still downplaying it, a tactic she had watched Sirius use for years now, and acting like that curse hadn’t been terrible. It was an awful curse, very dark magic that had taken a lot of work to eliminate and treat, and it had been quite painful. The curse, plus a number of smaller injuries and the aftereffects of the cruciatus curse, had landed her in the hospital in perhaps the worst condition she had ever been in, but she was not about to tell Teddy that.
“Well, I suppose I should be glad you told me at all then. You clearly weren’t planning on it…” he said, nodding. ”I wasn’t exactly hiding it, but I’m not going out of my way to announce it,” she said tightly. She would have hated to have Teddy at her bedside, seeing her pale and weak and hurt in those days at the hospital when she was still in bad shape. After she had had a few more days at home to continue recovering, she had started venturing out, including to bother Teddy, but first she had made sure she didn’t look particularly terrible anymore. He hadn’t realized anything was wrong until now, and obviously had not realized she had been hurt until now when she told him.
Now Teddy leaned back, clearly frustrated and hurt as he continued to speak. “You know what, you’re right. I left. I wasn’t here… and for a long time, I didn’t think I was ever going to come back – and now here I fucking am, and with absolutely no intention of leaving. It's not like I just stopped thinking about you guys… and since I've been back you've both given me plenty of reasons to worry about you... So forgive me for wanting to know what the hell is going on with the people I’m supposed to call best friends...” She bit back a number of mean retorts that immediately came to mind but all of which would have probably been too low a blow. Instead, Claire frowned and said, with her usual caustic sarcasm, "I so appreciate the concern." She thought about the twenty years and how late so much of his worry was now, while trying to remind herself that he was back, after all, and it was nice, a good friend and family sort of thing, to be worrying about her and everyone else.
He added, not incorrectly, “While I’m sure if I was looking for a file with everything I missed you would be the first person I would go to, no, I don’t need all of that… Just some sort of idea of what the hell I’ve missed… I want to be around for you guys now that I'm back… If there’s ever anything I can do to help, I want to be able to do it… but I can’t if you keep everything a secret from me like I’m a kid who needs protecting.” Focusing on the last bit of his rant, she shot back, “Maybe I am trying to protect you from everything that’s happening. I want to keep you safe. And I want to keep you here, not scare you off again.” But then she snapped finally and said, her voice hard, ”Fine. You want to know what you’ve missed?” She crossed her arms and leaned back defensively, both defensive against him and the memories of what she was on the verge of unloading on him.
Claire launched into her own rant, exploding, increasingly caustic and fierce and harsh. "Hmm, where to begin? Sirius and I became aurors, became partners, and got really good at it. Sirius got his girlfriend pregnant, they got married young, and he had two daughters, my goddaughters. The rest of the family tree is more complicated and I've already been forcing you to meet all of them. My own personal life was a series of disasters. Then my mother was murdered several years ago. I found her body at my parents' house, and I'm still trying to find who did it. A few years later, Sirius's wife and daughters were killed. Fun times of severe injuries and depression and obsessions followed. We've both spent more than our fair share of time in the hospital, although he nearly gets himself killed far more often. Sirius and I are dating now. I spend my days trying to stop people who have a target on my back and want to kill me and my best friend and other people I care about, plus stopping the general horror and destruction they're causing." She cut herself off, letting it settle between them instead of continuing, because who knew where that would go without much control of what she was saying, except for the control that was making her angry and fierce. But she didn't want to let it slip that she was scared and scarred and obsessive, having nightmares and not sleeping even more than was usual. Then, she asked, her voice savage, "Enough of a summary? Aren't you glad to be back?"
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Post by Theodore Remus Lupin on Dec 6, 2016 5:21:50 GMT -5
This lunch had quickly turned from just another friendly afternoon of small talk and her reserved cold shouldering from Claire into a much more personal talk – starting with his sons, questions of whether or not he would have come home under different circumstances and though it needed to happen, it seemed neither had really prepared themselves for it mentally. Things had been so strange since he had been back – and they were only getting stranger the more time that passed. He mused over the thought of ever getting enough put together in his new home that he could actually invite them over - it really would be nice to have people over and put the place to use, and it would be the first time in his life that he would have invited people over to a place of his own.
”Trust me, I’d force you to go to other things if we were doing anything else recently. We’re all busy, and family dinners are an easy thing to do,” she said, shrugging. ”But I’m sure there’s a quidditch game, or a birthday party, or some relative getting married soon. We’ll switch up your family time soon enough.” She was serious, but there was a bit of humor to it. ”That would be nice. And it’ll be nice to you over to spend some time at my place with me and Sirius,” she added. To the first part he let out a soft laugh, “I don’t mind dinners – but I won’t say no to changing things up once in a while. Though if it’s a Quidditch match let me know in advance, if I don’t bring Andrew I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Teddy couldn’t help but smile a bit at the thought of his son finding out he went to a Quidditch match without him, then continued to respond to her comment about having him come over to her house to spend time with her and Sirius. “I’ll be around soon I’m sure – anything allowing me to procrastinate on that house. I’ve got more stuff than I ever realized with it in storage.” He sipped his drink and glanced away from her – this was things getting better between them, right? If it was, he knew that he was going to be taking a chance when he finally pushed the questions he really wanted answers to. As they continued to talk, he ended up getting her to admit that she had been injured at work recently, which had hurt to find out – he would have preferred to not have to pry it out of her.
After him forcing her to admit that it wasn’t exactly something minor, she finally said, ”Fine, it was relatively serious, but I’ve seen worse. It was a nasty curse that the healers handled right away, so I just had to rest. They put me on a longer medical leave than I really need. See - obviously I’m fine.” Teddy sighed at this, she was probably still trying to make it seem less severe than it had been – but at least she wasn’t trying to pass it off as something far less significant than it had been. “It always seems longer than necessary, doesn’t it? Anyway, I’m glad you came out of it okay…” he said with a short sigh, his eyes darting between her and the food on his plate that he was no longer interested in.
”I wasn’t exactly hiding it, but I’m not going out of my way to announce it,” she said tightly. To this he simply said, “Well, in the future, I’d really appreciate knowing when something serious happens to you… I promise I won’t go bothering you until you’re ready to see people…” Teddy looked back up at her, hating to have to ask her to let him know about this sort of thing but knowing if he didn’t ask, she would continue to try and hide stuff like this from him. “I just don’t ever want to have to hear about it from someone else…” he admitted. Finding out Claire or Sirius had been gravely injured or worse, killed, through the papers or someone he barely spoke to had been one of his fears since seeing the article in the Prophet about one of Albus sons being kidnapped without much else reported on it.
It wasn’t long after that before he found himself in somewhat of a rant – about how there was something going on that no one was talking about, how he knew he had been gone for ages, but that he was here now and he couldn’t be there or do anything for them if they wouldn’t be honest with him. Apparently it hadn’t impressed Claire as she said, "I so appreciate the concern." It was frustrating him – he just wanted to be able to be there for everyone now that he was back – he couldn’t take back the twenty years he spent away – but he could at least try to make up for it and he wanted to; yet Claire and everyone only seemed to want to let him in so far and it made him feel like a stranger to everyone. If he didn’t know what he missed, then how could he possibly begin to feel comfortable around anyone?
He went on to explain this to her, ending with the fact that he was not a child that needed protecting – to which she responded with “Maybe I am trying to protect you from everything that’s happening. I want to keep you safe. And I want to keep you here, not scare you off again.” But then she snapped finally and said, her voice hard, ”Fine. You want to know what you’ve missed?” Claire sat back and crossed her arms against her chest – he would’ve opened his mouth to talk if he didn’t know her better – he had definitely gotten what he wanted, Claire was about to let him have it – but everything she unloaded at once, he could never have been prepared for.
"Hmm, where to begin? Sirius and I became aurors, became partners, and got really good at it. Sirius got his girlfriend pregnant, they got married young, and he had two daughters, my goddaughters. The rest of the family tree is more complicated and I've already been forcing you to meet all of them. My own personal life was a series of disasters. Then my mother was murdered several years ago. I found her body at my parents' house, and I'm still trying to find who did it. A few years later, Sirius's wife and daughters were killed. Fun times of severe injuries and depression and obsessions followed. We've both spent more than our fair share of time in the hospital, although he nearly gets himself killed far more often. Sirius and I are dating now. I spend my days trying to stop people who have a target on my back and want to kill me and my best friend and other people I care about, plus stopping the general horror and destruction they're causing."
Then, she asked, her voice savage, "Enough of a summary? Aren't you glad to be back?" When she finally finished it was like a blow to his head and his heart – and he knew this was likely only the tip of the iceberg, she probably only touched on the most impactful events, the things that had caused the majority of the changes in her, in Sirius and everyone who was following their lead in just not bringing up these horrible events – and he could finally start to understand why. Unfortunately, after being out of contact with everyone for so long, the only way he was ever going to know what he missed was for them to talk about it – and he wanted to know – after all, what if he had made comments about her mother, or Sirius family, and he hadn’t known? If they never spoke of it, it would have been bound to happen eventually.
Teddy ran one hand in his hair and then the other, and as his hands left his hair the teal shaded streaks faded into their natural grey amongst the dark brown – were he aware of it he would be cursing his body’s way of reacting to stress. “Okay, wait… Can we slow that down and back up a bit… First off, nothing is going to be enough to ‘scare me off’. I’m sticking around, and with that in mind, you can’t hide every bad thing that’s happened from me…” he said sternly, losing his usual light tone in exchange for one that he rarely used. “Second off…” he continued with a softer tone. “I’m sorry about your mother… and Sirius family… but if you hadn’t told me, I could have made a complete ass of myself, likely in front of lots of people and it would’ve been terribly awkward and I would have felt awful… I’m sorry I wasn’t around for you guys then, like I really should’ve been… I can’t change that, but I’m going to be here from now on.”
Everything that she had told him had been hard to absorb – he was still sort of making his way through everything she had told him – and every last bit of it made him feel like a little bit more of an ass for not coming back sooner, for not being around for his best friends, for leaving everyone behind to deal with all this loss, while he was merely trying to avoid heartache at the sight of Victorie with another man. “And third – I knew you and Sirius were together… I also knew you would end up together even twenty years ago… I just didn’t know he would have married someone else first…” Sighing, Teddy flagged over a waiter and asked for a firewhiskey – alcohol certainly sounded good after trying to comprehend everything he had just been told. There were so many questions that went along with all of this – and he was trying to figure out where he would even start – it was certainly more than he had expected her to come out with at first.
“To answer your question I think that’s certainly enough of a summary for now… It’s more than I expected by far… but I am still glad I came back… lately more and more I’ve been getting the feeling I really should’ve come back a long time ago… Maybe it would've changed something, maybe it wouldn't change anything...” he said as the waiter came back with his drink and he took a greedily long sip, looking down at the glass now instead of at Claire. “Look, I may not be a trained auror like your and Sirius – but if there’s ever anything at all I can do to help, I want you to let me know… I mean that.”
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Post by Claire Pierce on Dec 11, 2016 2:11:48 GMT -5
Teddy had been and remained up for all that she was putting him through; she had to give him credit for that. “I don’t mind dinners – but I won’t say no to changing things up once in a while. Though if it’s a Quidditch match let me know in advance, if I don’t bring Andrew I’ll never hear the end of it.” She smiled a little at that; a quidditch fan. ”Of course. He and I will have to talk about quidditch soon. Well, I haven’t been to a match in ages, actually. There hasn’t really been anything else at all recently. Busy, you know. Don’t really have time for much,” she said, almost trailing off, and she gestured a hand vaguely. It was surprising, really, that Claire and Sirius even managed to get to get to family events, mostly dinners, these days. She had sent Teddy to various things that hadn’t actually involved her or hadn’t been graced with her presence, but she still found time to show up at a surprising number of gatherings, as well as making sure to schedule time to see her father separately. She smiled a bit still as he went on to talk about his new house and his own procrastination. ”I’ve been living in my house for almost ten years now. It took me a long time to set it up completely and get it the way I wanted,” she said lightly. ”Then Sirius moved in and I had to accommodate for him,” she said, jokingly, almost carelessly; she didn’t talk about this much, and she and Teddy hadn’t really discussed it at all, skirting around the topic as they did so many other things.
Claire pursed her mouth as he said, “It always seems longer than necessary, doesn’t it? Anyway, I’m glad you came out of it okay…” It was longer than necessary, she thought, but she also trusted her healers and was willing to wait, even if she didn’t enjoy it. Still, she understood it; she had recovered faster than expected, but at the beginning she had been quite weak and her healer was worried about any lingering damage and effects. ”Just being preventative and careful, I suppose. At least I’m being productive during my time off,” she said, pivoting from the unsaid question of what it was that she had come out of okay. Had she been okay? She was now, but that day? Not so okay. Teddy certainly wouldn’t have said so if he had seen her then. He reiterated that he would appreciate knowing in the future, and to hear it from Claire herself. ”I’ll keep that in mind,” she said stiffly, not conceding to it. ”But I’m not planning on being in that position again.” That was pointless, though; it was depressingly likely that something serious would happen to someone close to her. That’s what she was working against, but the situation was so dangerous right then that she knew she couldn’t get her hopes up - or Teddy’s, for that matter.
Teddy looked very taken aback as she unleashed an overflow of summary onto him, and then more so by what she had to say. Any trace of his easygoing and positive mood was gone; an overwhelmed and more somber mood replaced it. Similarly, Claire caught the way his younger features disappeared, a sign of his stress and surprise. Looking at the strands of grey hair rather than directly at him, she listened to him begin to react, including saying, ”Nothing is going to be enough to ‘scare me off.’ ”How am I supposed to know that?” she shot back, no fight in her voice this time. He went on, though, to apologize about her mother and Sirius’s family, and point out that he should have known, or else he would have made a fool of himself at some point.
Claire sighed, still not looking directly at him. She cut in and said, ”Yes, it really should have gone like this: hi Teddy, welcome back, I missed you, my mother was killed, how are you doing these days?” She had settled back in the comfort and safety of sarcasm, now that they were in dangerous territory of bad memories. It was a refuge for her, especially when they were finally talking about something she had been avoiding discussing with him for weeks and months now, an extension of how she generally avoided discussing these events. They were too difficult and sad for all of them. While Claire thought about them frequently, and they drove her obsessions and intense work ethic, she still wasn’t too open about any of it either.
As if sensing that he should shift a little, balance out his focus so things didn’t get too hard for her or for him, he spoke about Sirius and their relationship. ”I knew you and Sirius were together. I also knew you would end up together even twenty years ago,” he said, and she couldn't help but smile a little, looking down at her hands. ”Yes, well, things didn't exactly go as planned or as expected,” she acknowledged. ”A story for another time, perhaps.“ Perhaps Teddy had spent all these years thinking that she and Sirius had gotten together, five or ten or fifteen or twenty years ago. It was such a strange thought now. "It took us a while. It's still pretty new, actually.” But she couldn’t make any of the jokes she would have ordinarily made, whether poking fun at how long it took for them to own up to it or to mock Sirius in some way related to their relationship, because the conversation had already gotten too heavy. Her mother and his wife and his girls were on her mind now, out there between her and Teddy finally.
Finally looking up again, she said, somewhat ruefully, ”I imagine you can at least understand why we haven’t been talking about…. any of this.” Looking at some point over his shoulder, because of course this was hard for her, talking about these terrible memories and being on the edge of emotional, she continued. ”You know... In a way, I'm glad you weren't here so you didn't have to go though all of this," she said, considering, but then admitted, "But it would have been.... It would have been good to have you here for it all the same.” He had said some things about being glad he was back and wishing he had been back earlier. She wished so too, selfishly, perhaps. For herself. But then he extended his offer of help. Teddy was observant enough to realize something more was going on, and now she had confirmed this, in general terms. Claire wasn’t surprised that he was saying this; he had always been loyal and caring and helpful, dedicated to them, and he was a very good person. ”I have a whole department of people, Teddy,” she said, her voice softening just a bit. ”We don’t need someone else to run into danger. I already have to manage Sirius; I can’t keep you from doing something dangerous too. You just got back,” she added, attempting to keep her tone soft and light enough, almost humorous at the end. This wasn’t the time or place to be talking about danger and risks and the dark magic she was dealing with each day at work, but she didn’t want him involved anyways.
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Post by Theodore Remus Lupin on Feb 3, 2017 3:34:39 GMT -5
When Teddy had arrived today there had certainly been hope that at some point in this conversation, he would be able to steer Claire in the direction of just some small bit of what was happening that he felt so conscious of, yet so oblivious to. For months he had noticed so many things that pointed to something more going on – and while he tried to get back into the rhythm of being home, among family and friends, trying to keep a routine and expand the class he now taught at the school, he kept having this feeling that something very bad had been happening all around them. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, it continued to bother him and so he knew eventually, if he prodded enough, he could get either Claire or Sirius to talk.
However, he hadn’t expected quite the recap that he got when Claire finally lost her composure, going into details on many things that he had been wondering about, but had no way to know for sure. As she spoke he simply tried to take in all of it, trying to sort out where he would start, what he wanted to say first – what he wanted to ask questions about eventually, rather than continuing to push the issue today which he didn’t want to do in attempt to make this a little less difficult on the both of them. When he finally spoke, he first tried to explain that nothing would be enough to scare him off – to which she interjected with ”How am I supposed to know that?”
Her words, though they lacked the usual passion and fight that you would get from Claire, still hurt – it was hard, but he was being forced to accept that it would be a long time before anyone would trust that he wasn’t simply going to up and leave again. No matter what he tried to tell them, they all thought it could happen at any second – things would get too stressful, or it would be too frustrating or he would just get bored and decide to take off on another tour of the globe. It frustrated him to think that they would keep things from him in fear of him running off – he had never run off, he had left to gain experience, to create a career; he stayed away because it hurt to think of Victorie with someone else, let alone see it in person – but now that he had been back, and seen everyone he had missed for so many years, he simply couldn’t stay away like that again.
”Yes, it really should have gone like this: hi Teddy, welcome back, I missed you, my mother was killed, how are you doing these days?” she said, all sarcasm and trying to push away all those bad memories, which he couldn’t blame her for in the least. Sighing, Teddy shook his head. ”It didn’t have to go like that, obviously. But at some point, in the last – what – eight or nine months, you could have at least tried to slowly filled me in on some of what I’ve missed.” he said, sort of softly now but still more firm than his usual casual and playful tone. These conversations were never going to be easy – but that didn’t mean it wasn’t important for him to know these things; then again, he considered that perhaps this was just his karma for being gone with no concern on how it may have hurt them as well.
Finally he brought things back to a slightly simpler, and much lighter subject – her relationship with Sirius, which had been obvious to him from the time he saw them together at the Halloween Ball that had been hosted at the school. He hadn’t attended long – only showing up to say hello to them and a few other friends and family members he had hoped to find and then briefly doing what he could to ever so slightly embarrass his teenage sons in front of their friends and dates before leaving – but it had been long enough to see that the two of them had finally come together as he had expected they would so many years ago. It was only how long it had taken for it to happen that had really been a surprise to him – the two of them were made for each other and everyone else but them seemed to have known about it for years (or maybe, he wondered, if they just wouldn’t admit it to themselves until recently).
”Yes, well, things didn't exactly go as planned or as expected,” she acknowledged. ”A story for another time, perhaps.“ There was a pause, as she sat there in thought before adding. "It took us a while. It's still pretty new, actually.” To this he could only smile a little, ”Well, however new it may be, I have to say it wasn’t exactly unexpected…” Things were quiet between them for a moment and he found himself lost in thoughts of so long ago – himself helping her and Sirius pull pranks at the school, which led his mind wandering as it so often did back to Victorie – but he was brought back to the present when she finally spoke again.
”I imagine you can at least understand why we haven’t been talking about…. any of this.” Finally she looked up, by her eyes didn’t directly meet his, instead looking over his shoulder, and he let out a slightly exaggerated sigh as he ran a hand in his hair, some of the teal color slowly fading back over the grey as he fought to control the whirlwind of emotions, shock and hurt at learning what was probably only a fraction of everything that he had missed. ”Yes… I can understand, at least to a degree… I just don’t want you guys hiding things from me because you’re afraid of how I would react or because it’s uncomfortable… and the things that are hard to talk about are the sort of things I need to know if you really want me around, don’t you think?”
”You know... In a way, I'm glad you weren't here so you didn't have to go though all of this," she said, considering, but then admitted, "But it would have been.... It would have been good to have you here for it all the same.” This again brought him to a very hard place – he would never regret all the experiences of his travels, without those experiences he wouldn’t have his two sons, but he definitely wished more often than not that he had at least tried a little harder, even after several years of radio silence, to get in contact with those who he had left behind. ”I should’ve been here… but if you ever need me again, I’ll be here… I can promise you that.”
That was about when the waiter brought back his drink and he took a long sip as the two sat in silence for a moment – it was definitely more of a heavy discussion than even he had expected to wind up in, but it was needed. Then he finally decided to put his offer out there – even though he sort of already knew she was going to try and push his offer away. ”I have a whole department of people, Teddy,” she said, her voice softening just a bit. ”We don’t need someone else to run into danger. I already have to manage Sirius; I can’t keep you from doing something dangerous too. You just got back,”
At this he merely shrugged, saying softly, ”It’s an open offer… for any kind of help you may need... I could even try to help you keep Sirius in line, I've learned at least some form of self control over the years,” he said with a smile, combining a serious offer with a light anecdote the way he often did. Then he sipped his drink again, looking down at the amber liquid – Teddy didn’t intend to push any of this much further right now, he had finally gotten some of the answers he was looking for – and more than he had expected to get at all.
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