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Post by James Sirius Potter on Oct 3, 2012 20:12:56 GMT -5
It had been two weeks since Sirius ate dinner with Claire at The Three Broomsticks the night she invited him to come to live with her. Two nights later Sirius had announced it to Albus that he was going to be moving out finally. He didn't like the sound of it at first but once Sirius told him he would be living with Claire, Albus got a big smirk on his face as though he assumed it was going somewhere other than where it was. Of course, he told Albus after that, that he was going to be staying in Claire's spare room, he looked disappointed as though he expected a more exciting story. Nonetheless he did not deny Sirius his right to leave and told him Good Luck and to keep in touch as much as possible. Sirius knew it was just the family worrying for him still, but honestly, he was getting tired of it. He was going to show them that he was getting better, or at least trying to.
By the end of the week Sirius was moving in the few things he owned. His collection of books that filled the single bookshelf in the room. He did not have many clothes these days so between his robes and work clothes and his running clothes only half the dresser was full. He had his lamp on top of the dresser and he now had everything from work cluttered all over his desk as though he had been around for a month or two at least already. He brought covers from the bed he had at his parents house in school because he could not bring himself to consider bringing the covers from the bed he and Kayla had once shared. It just wasn't an option. He laid on the bed and looked around. Definitely a good change of scenery from Albus's spare room to Claire's. It was good to have change already.
Then he found himself getting changed into an old worn pair of jeans and the black muscle shirt he wears for running and looked himself over in the mirror. It had been a long time since he had really done so. The scars from the two times he had been close to death in a fight against The Nex were all fading now a few years after the last attack. His facial hair was a little over grown right at the moment but he didn't care to take care of it at the moment either. Instead he left the room barefoot and went down to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of whiskey after taking a few quick swigs from the bottle. His head was still trying to process everything that had changed in the past two weeks. So much had happened and he really thought it was about time he explained it to Claire. Maybe she could think of the logical way to deal with this. She was usually good at that sort of thing, right?
After putting the bottle away in the cupboard he walked out to the front porch and sat on the steps of the house and pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one up. He sipped his drink once more and let his thoughts flood his mind. In the past two weeks he had left his brothers house and moved into Claire's house. Been back to his old house to grab the few important things he wanted for sure, photo albums and such, and they were all in his closet at the moment. After that he and Claire had been working on a case with a fifteen year old girl that now resided in an orphanage whose mother and grandmother were killed in an attack by The Nex. When he had gone back to the home to look around again he had found the girl there.
And during his first few words exchanged kindly with the young girl, he had found out that she was his daughter. That's right. Sirius's mind had been blown that night, he did not know what to do about the situation at all. Well, obviously he wanted to help his daughter, whether he just met her or not. But the hard part would be convincing her to give him a chance. She seemed to be very hateful towards him for never being around... But how could he have been without knowing she existed? Yes, he felt bad because he never meant to have an affair with the girls mother... And he had never even told Claire about the affair that had turned him around and renewed things for him and Kayla... Only Kayla had ever known he cheated on her and she had forgiven him for it as only someone like her could have.
But now the question was this, how did he get this girl to trust him? How could he get her out of that orphanage? He could sell the house sooner than he intended to and use it to buy a place of his own so he and her could stay there... But he really wanted to have this time living with Claire. It was already helping and it had been barley a week already. He did not want to cut that time so short so soon. But if he needed to, then he would. He had lost both his daughters before and now a new one has unexpectedly come into his life and his fatherly instincts were kicking in just as they had when his first daughter Cassie was born. The thing is, this girl was older and had no trust for him whatsoever.
Taking another sip of his drink and a drag off his cigarette he stretched out his bad leg and massaged his knee as he does frequently every day. It was the only way besides the alcohol that kept the constant dull pain from becoming too much. He had learned to do that while recovering the last two times. As he sat there thinking to himself as he smoked his cigarette and everything, he looked at the moon and the stars above him and sighed. Then he looked at his watch, it was getting late. Claire should be home soon...
word count, 1,058 tags, claire/jana notes, so its kinda shitty but its done =]
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Post by Claire Pierce on Oct 3, 2012 23:39:41 GMT -5
words: seven hundred ninety one tag: padfoot/sirius notes: not the best but excited! c: [/color][/font][/b][/center] Claire had been at work for more than a few extra hours already, like she had for such a long time. At this point, she had lost count of the days that she stayed late at work, after already coming in early. Sirius had left a while ago, going back to her house, where he was now living. It was strange, going home to find Sirius lounging on her couch or getting ready to go to bed in her extra room. She had been living alone for so long now that it was weird to have someone else going home to her house everyday; eating, sleeping, living there just like she was. But it was not just anyone; it was Sirius that was down the hall from her, so it wasn't as weird as it could be, she supposed. Claire just wasn't completely used to it yet, though part of her was thinking, already, about how it was nice to have him there.
In the past week and a half since he had moved into her spare room, the two of them had already fallen into a bit of a routine: they each got up early, as both of them went on runs nearly every day; they went to work around the same time, usually together, always earlier than the rest of the aurors; they stayed at their desks, working, until much later hours than they were supposed to. He sometimes left before her, and she would get home to find him drinking or smoking. Or doing both.
Her focus returned, momentarily, to her work that sat in front of her on the desk. Sirius's desk, across from hers, was a mess but the chair empty as he had left a while ago. Glancing at the clock, she found that it was even later than she had thought it was, so she finished up the part that she was currently working on. Sighing, Claire pushed her chair out and stood, carefully organizing the papers and files and everything else on her desk. One of the prominent cases on the desk was one of two murders, and the fifteen year old girl left by the murdered family members. Both Claire and Sirius had tried to talk to her already. Claire grabbed her jacket and bag and looked, for a moment, around the office. It was completely empty, as everybody had gone home hours before this point. The department was currently mostly dimly lit, with the sole bright light coming from the area around and above Claire's desk. She sighed again and turned off the light near her before disapparating away from the office to her home.
She appeared directly in her home, standing in the living room. It was empty as she set her jacket and bag down, moving tiredly to her room. She wasn't sure where Sirius was, as she hadn't looked farther than the living room and the kitchen, which she could see from there. As she walked to her room, she called out, not quite caring if he heard or not, or where he was, "I'm back!" It was weird to have to say that, and to think that she got home to a house that wasn't empty anymore. Once in her room, she changed out of the work clothes she had been in since the early morning after her run and following shower; she changed into more comfortable clothes of pants and a sweatshirt. Catching a glance of herself in a mirror before pulling on the sweatshirt, she caught of a glimpse of the scar on one of her arms. Most of the times she saw the scars, and often when she saw them out of the corner of her eye, it brought back the memories of how she received the scars. Sighing, she noticed the dark circles under her eyes again and turned away from the mirror, pulling the sweatshirt over her head and slipping it on.
After leaving her room, she found Sirius sitting on the front porch of the house. Walking outside, she settled down next to him on the steps, eyeing the cigarette he had and the drink he had brought outside. Sighing once more, she said, "Hey." She sat there for a long pause, not asking the obvious question of How much have you had to drink so far? How many cigarettes have you had today? because she always did. He would probably answer vaguely, and she had a feeling what the answer was anyways, as she always did. After the pause, she looked above her at the moon before glancing back down at him beside her, and she asked, "Are you okay?" She knew there was something up that he wasn't telling her.
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Post by James Sirius Potter on Oct 4, 2012 21:11:50 GMT -5
Not long after he sat down to smoke his cigarette he started hearing noise in the house. Claire was home for the night. Meaning they would normally be up for a little while longer, maybe have a late dinner and then he would get tired and head off to bed and Claire... Well he really didn't know what she did all night long. If it weren't for the wear and tear he has already acquired that keeps him tired by the end of the day and ready for sleep with not much other option when it gets too late, then he would consider keeping himself awake with coffee just to see what she does all night long. When they were in school he knew what she had done. Wandered the halls of Hogwarts mostly. Cup of coffee in hand half the time. And with him most the time. Back then he was not so worn down and more lively and ready for a long night of adventure. Nowadays he was lucky to stay up until one or two in the morning, but he was also only in the last couple months being able to sleep through the night without some sort of horrible nightmare.
With that thought he then thought of what had been mentally stressful over the last week and that was the whole situation with Juliette. He really had no idea what to do here... She did not seem to want his help but oh did he want to give it. He wanted to be able to make up for all the time that he wasn't around like he should have been. He wanted to prove to her that he wants to help. He really just longed to have that feeling of importance again, the feeling of being a dad, a feeling of which there is no other like it. Sirius had loved it since the day his first daughter was born and he took to it amazingly well considering. He just did not know where to start or what approach to use right now because he did not know this girl at all. His daughters had been easier with Kayla because he had raised them and he knew what to expect and not expect. So far the only thing he could really tell that was similar between him and Juliette was the love for a certain whiskey.
His mind was racing again and he was tired of it. All day long, every day since he found out, this was the only the he could think of for more than a second. Claire had to have noticed, their conversations were short and his own responses even shorter. Usually a "yupp, yeah or huh?" when he really hadn't caught a word of the actual conversation. It wasn't his fault though, none of this was! How could he have predicted any of this? There was no way he could have known and that was honestly what bothered him the most. Which was the reason he had said he did not want to have another one night stand after Kayla got pregnant. He never wanted to be in the situation he was in now, but hey, it happened. That was just his luck though, wasn't it? At the same time, it did feel like luck. It felt like a chance to have a little bit of that part of himself back. Which would be so nice to have after all this time of feeling so completely lost without it.
As he took a drag off his cigarette Claire walked outside and sat down next to him with a simple "hey". He gave her a small smile and a "Hey," back. Then he sipped his drink and before she could ask him anything that she normally did he said, "I've been drinking for about two hours, and smoked less than a pack of cigarettes today. If that makes you feel any better." With that he let out a grin, as he knew her well enough to know what she normally would have asked him and just how to give the kind of answer she would expect of him. Nothing specific and everything a little vague on details. He took another sip of his drink and continued on to finish his cigarette though he is also half tempted to smoke another one when she asked if he was okay. Really, he knew she knew, but he still hated the question. There were so many answers to that. But in the end he supposed the simplest was the best.
"No..." he said with a sigh and then continued. "Not really... The thing is... It's a very long story... And any one else, I would ask them if they had time. I know you have nothing but time on your hands at night so I'm just going to jump into it... It all started about sixteen years ago, you remember when Kayla was pissed for the way I was working and going out drinking rather than coming home? When she tried to leave me?" He sipped his drink at the thought and frowned at the glass realizing it would be empty a lot sooner than expected. See, this is why he would have previously drank straight out of the bottle, but here he tried to respect Claire and he knew she did not approve of such things. With one more sip and a long sigh he looked at Claire, "I cheated on her... Slept with some random woman from the bar that night... Regretted it instantly the next morning and apologized to her and to Kayla... Kayla and I fixed things and I was drinking less as you probably remember... But I never saw that woman again...
Not until the other day at least..." he sighed and ran a hand in his hair and decided to light another cigarette anyways as he then stood up and started pacing around with his slight limp. Walking back and forth and back and forth in front of the steps as he puffed on the cigarette and sipped his drink occasionally. "She's the mother from the case we're working... The one with the fifteen year old in the orphanage right now..." he sighed once more, beating around the bush now. Please, just let it click in her head without him having to come right out and say it. He had not said it aloud since the day he found out. He couldn't. It all seemed way too real and urgent when he thought about doing that. Please, just let her put the puzzle pieces together and realize what he was trying to tell her...
word count, 1,129 tags, claire/jana notes, oh God. can't wait for your reply already and i havent even hit post reply yet!
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Post by Claire Pierce on Oct 6, 2012 23:14:35 GMT -5
words: one thousand one hundred ninety eight tag: padfoot/sirius notes: sorry for the wait! hope this is good (: [/color][/font][/b][/center] Claire sat beside him, staring out around the house and up at the dark sky, full of bright stars and the moon. It was late and she didn't have hours of sleep to look forward to, which she thought of and had to hold back a sigh. She knew the circles under her eyes were dark as usual, but for now she didn't want to think about the fact that when Sirius went to sleep, she wouldn't fall asleep as well.
He replied to her unspoken question, the constant question of how much he had drank already, and how much he had smoked, saying to it, "Hey. I've been drinking for about two hours, and smoked less than a pack of cigarettes today. If that makes you feel any better." He grinned over at her, and she smiled a little, half heartedly, while rolling her eyes before looking ahead of them again at her small empty yard, the silent road lined with darkened houses. "Not really," she replied, "but I suppose that it's better than you going to a bar after work all the time, right?" By having Sirius living with her, he generally went straight to the house after work, and just had drinks there in her kitchen; but he had less to drink if it was in her house. Maybe it was less tempting, he didn't want it less when he was at her house and not at a bar for hours. Maybe he just didn't want her to yell at him about it every night. She figured it could be a mix of both.
Sirius was quiet at first, taking another sip of his drink and a drag of his cigarette as she sat beside him, quiet as well. When she asked him if he was okay, he continued to be silent for a moment. Things had often been a little off, a little strange, in the past few days. He usually seemed distracted, and not quite paying attention to the conversation. There were longer pauses, and he was clearly wrapped up in some thoughts most of the time. She had noticed it but had not really said anything about yet, not until now, thinking that he would talk to her about whatever it was when he was ready, but she was feeling particularly impatient for information at the moment.
Finally, Sirius replied to her question, and she turned her head to look at him as he starting speaking, sighing. "No... Not really... The thing is... It's a very long story... And any one else, I would ask them if they had time. I know you have nothing but time on your hands at night so I'm just going to jump into it... It all started about sixteen years ago, you remember when Kayla was pissed for the way I was working and going out drinking rather than coming home? When she tried to leave me?" he began, and she raised her eyebrows, and simply said, in a quiet tone, "Yeah, I remember." He hesitated for a moment before continuing, sighing and sipping his drink; she caught him frowning at the small amount of liquid left in his glass. She ignored that for the time being, simply pleased he had grabbed a glass and not just the bottle.
He looked over at her, and she met his eyes with a questioning glance as he starting talking again. "I cheated on her... Slept with some random woman from the bar that night... Regretted it instantly the next morning and apologized to her and to Kayla... Kayla and I fixed things and I was drinking less as you probably remember... But I never saw that woman again..." Her eyebrows went up again; he had never told her that. She didn't find herself annoyed about a secret he kept from her, for once, as she wasn't that surprised, really. That was something that was personal between Sirius and Kayla, so it made sense. She nodded, saying in a neutral tone, "You never told me that, but okay."
"Not until the other day at least..." he said, before standing up to pace with a sigh. Watching him pace back and forth with his bit of a limp in one leg and his cigarette in hand made her nervous, her eyes moving over him as he moved from one side to the other. She stood as he started talking again, crossing her arms against the nighttime chill that seeped in through her sweatshirt and pants, that was cold against her face. "She's the mother from the case we're working... The one with the fifteen year old in the orphanage right now..." he said, and it took a moment before her mouth fell open, about to say something, but Claire found herself unable to find the words for a few seconds: Claire Pierce, rarely speechless, had no idea how to respond to that.
She knew what he meant by that, understood completely what he was implying by the story and the case, and what the connection was. Sirius had a long lost daughter, born of a one night stand. For a moment, she almost wanted to laugh; this was how Sirius was, so long ago. Getting so drunk at a bar, one night stands, not caring about relationships - this reminded her of Sirius at eighteen: a sort of relationship with Kayla, that had ended shortly until she told him that she was pregnant, and everything had changed then. Part of her thought about Sirius at eighteen, beyond the short relationships that weren't really relationships; it was reminding her of Sirius and herself, of what had been stopped before it could even possibly start when Kayla had told him her news.
But no, Sirius had lost the life he had gotten and built with his new family of Kayla and his daughters over the next years. After their murders, Sirius had lost that family, and now he had found out about Juliette. Claire was quiet for a long moment, remembering Sirius as a father; in what way would he be a father to Juliette? She voiced her next questions, taking the rational approach: "Does she know yet? What did you say to her?" Claire stood away from still, feeling awkward and unsure of what to do, before stepping a little closer to him.
She hesitated, before talking again, a bit uncomfortable in that she didn't know what to say that wasn't a logical question about facts. Claire had never known what to do with feelings, whether they were hers or others; she was much too closed off about things like that. Sirius knew how to deal with hers, and she did with him, in her own way, but she wasn't really sure to do about this. Beginning quietly and hesitantly, hearing the awkwardness in her voice and the hard edges to her tone, coming from her inability to deal with serious emotional things like this, she asked, "How are you, after finding out about this? What are you... I don't know, thinking, about this?" She looked up at him, so much taller than her, as she stood somewhat close to him but feeling unsure.
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Post by James Sirius Potter on Oct 8, 2012 18:25:56 GMT -5
When Claire sat beside him he had turned to look at her for a moment and sighed softly as he saw how tired she looked as always. For once, he knew he looked similarly tired as he had not had a decent nights sleep since he found out about Juliette. And he knew tonight would be no different, he would not get much if any sleep tonight. He just wasn't tired. Well, he was tired that part wasn't true. The fact of the matter is his head would not stop swimming with thoughts and he knew tonight after telling all this to Claire that he wouldn't sleep at all. Maybe he would stay up at his desk and pour over the files of open cases to distract himself. But every time he did that it brought him back to the case of Juliette's mother and grandmother and then he started to obsess again on the need to find out what happened. Maybe if he figured it out, she wouldn't hate him quite so much. Maybe that would count for something?
"Not really," she replied, "but I suppose that it's better than you going to a bar after work all the time, right?" To this all he did was nod. She was right and he knew it. He knew how bad his drinking could and would get from time to time. He tried to control it but that's just the thing. When you can't tell you are drunk, how do you know when too much is too much? He really honestly had no idea what his limitations were with alcohol because for years they had seemed endless until he more or less blacked out. Like he had the night with Juliette's mother so many years ago. You would think things like this and nights like that would incline him to drink just a little less? No, apparently not. Even his common sense told him he needed to cut back, but the thing is, he really, really had. And to cut back as far as he already had was hard for him to do. He couldn't imagine trying to go without it... He never had, not since he was thirteen years old...
Finally he started his story and as he spoke the words out loud for the first time since he had explained all this to Juliette, it made it all the more real for him. He hated telling her. The whole story made him feel like a complete inconsiderate ass hole. Truth is, he used to be that complete inconsiderate ass hole all the time. But when he and Kayla got serious about their relationship that had all ended. Until alcohol took over his life and he made a weak decision. One he had always regretted, but never fully regretted and now he knew why. Something had been in the back of his head, on his heart all these years telling him to not regret what happened and simply learn from it. And that it had. But only now was it seeming so apparent that maybe somehow, he kind of knew... Maybe if he had checked up on things all those years ago, he would have been in Juliette's life before now. But the thing is, he had explained to her mother that morning that he probably wouldn't see her again, mostly for fear it would happen again. Maybe that was why the young woman had never spoke up and got in touch with him about his child? She did not want to hurt his family with a mistake he had once made.
"You never told me that, but okay." It did not sound like the fury he expected when she found out he had neglected to share this story before now. It surprised him, but still, in a way it hurt. He had always told Claire everything and as far as he knew, she had always told him everything. "I'm sorry..." he said softly, looking down rather than at her. "Honestly, I'm still embarrassed, I always felt shitty about it, and the last thing I needed was harassment from my parents, or you, or anyone... That's why we never told anyone..." What he said was the truth, even if it sounded a little harsh. He knew she would have told him what a huge mistake he had made and given him a hard time about it. It's Claire and that's just what she did. She made sure he knew when he messed up, but usually, it was because when she did that, he didn't mess up the same way twice. The thing is, she did it because she knew it worked.
Soon after that comment he had gotten up and started pacing. Stupid bad habit. He was already hurting from the long hours he had been putting in at work recently, the longer run in the morning to clear his thoughts just enough that he could barley focus on work and then the lack of sleep on top of it. But no matter how much his bad knee protested it, he continued to pace as he told the rest of his story. He did not pause this time, simply continuing on until the end. He wanted this part out of the way. Where he left off he knew Claire could figure out the rest. If he had been able to figure it out when Juliette had said something to him, then Claire could figure this out. After all, she was much more brilliant than him. He noticed that she had stood up as well, but not moved much closer to him. Maybe it was the cigarette smoke and maybe she just really did not know what to do right now. When he glanced over at her, she looked completely speechless. And in all the years they had known each other -their whole lives- since they were able to talk, he had never seen Claire speechless. She always had something to say.
Finally, a few words seemed to come to her. "Does she know yet? What did you say to her?" Sirius stopped pacing for a moment and sighed and nodded. "Yeah she knows... I had said I knew her mother to make her listen to me.. Then she asked how I knew her and asked if I knew her father... Told me what her mom had told her which was that I was married and we had met in a bar and I made a mistake and left... That's how I knew... I kinda had the same reaction as you at first... Didn't know what to say or do... Actually, I had to sit down I was kind of in complete shock... Still am kinda... It doesn't entirely seem real..." At that thought he realized his cigarette was gone and he flicked the butt away from them. Now his nicotine was gone and his drink was gone and his mind was still going ninety miles an hour. "I told her I did know her dad... That man from the bar was me... She didn't like that too much..."
Remember all the hateful words Juliette had for him was not easy, but they had been playing over and over in his head since she had said them. Never once had he ever imagined himself in this situation. Not even when he had been sleeping around left and right. Honestly, maybe he had kind of expected this kind of thing to pop up one day. But he expected it from some girl from school, not from this. He knew this was all his karma for not treating women the way he should have from the beginning. It just made him feel like shit and reminded him constantly what a dumb ass he was. Now he walked back up to the steps and sat down and put his face in his hands at her next questions. The truth be told, he did not know what to do here. "How are you, after finding out about this? What are you... I don't know, thinking, about this?"
Sighing he looked back up at her. "To be completely honest I'm a mental wreck and have a headache..." He rubbed his head again and then picked up his empty glass out of habit and frowned at it once more. Why was it always empty when he really did not want to have to get up and refill it? This was why alcoholic's drank straight out of the bottle. "I haven't slept enough, I hurt, I want to go running again anyway to try and get my head straight but I know it wont work..." He looked down again and found himself massaging his knee once again. "As far as what I'm thinking about the whole situation... I don't know... She basically hates me... Think's I'm a piece of garbage... Doesn't want anything to do with me... But I don't want her to stay at the orphanage cause she will just keep running away back to her old house and I of all people know how bad for her that would be... I just don't know what to fucking do..."
word count, 1,541 tags, jana/claire notes, FINALLY DONE.
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Post by Claire Pierce on Oct 9, 2012 14:24:01 GMT -5
words: one thousand three hundred nineteen tag: padfoot/sirius notes: not so good, sorry [/color][/font][/b][/center] She wondered if he had expected her to be furious that he had never told her about the time he had cheated on Kayla. If she had been told at the time, she knew she would have been angry; she knew she would have been mad at him for his mistake, and simply disappointed in him. Maybe that was part of the reason he had never told her about that; Claire was always fast to be angry with him and let him know that he had made a mistake. But, years later, she understood why he hadn't told her, and she couldn't get too angry for something he had done so many years before. It was something personal between Sirius and Kayla, and while she was a little disappointed he had never told her about it, she just hoped that it had been the only thing he had kept from her. They had always shared everything, even the things that Claire would never think of saying out loud to anybody else. He had seen her at her worst and had heard about everything. Claire could think of only one thing that she had never talked to him about, for twenty years at this point.
But he replied to her simple, purposely calm response about never hearing that story, saying, I'm sorry..." He was quiet, and she thought, for a moment, about how Sirius didn't say sorry too often. Neither did she, and she knew that he was sorry, to be saying so. "Honestly, I'm still embarrassed, I always felt shitty about it, and the last thing I needed was harassment from my parents, or you, or anyone... That's why we never told anyone..." She didn't contradict him, because they both knew that Claire would have harassed him about it, as it would remind him not to mess up and do it again. It was just how she was. She had nearly always reacted that way, but it generally worked. She sighed before replying, shrugging a little. "I understand. That's why I'm not mad, really, that you didn't tell me. It was between you and Kayla." She sighed again, however, looking up at him as he began to pace. She noticed that he was limping slightly as he did so, and her mouth tightened a little as she watched; he shouldn't be walking on his hurt, pained knee as much as he did.
Finally, he responded to her questions, the logical, rational ones that Claire began with. "Yeah she knows... I had said I knew her mother to make her listen to me.. Then she asked how I knew her and asked if I knew her father... Told me what her mom had told her which was that I was married and we had met in a bar and I made a mistake and left... That's how I knew... I kinda had the same reaction as you at first... Didn't know what to say or do... Actually, I had to sit down I was kind of in complete shock... Still am kinda... It doesn't entirely seem real..." At this point, he was out of alcohol and his cigarette was finished; Claire hoped he wouldn't refill his glass, it was the last thing he needed at the moment. She barely had the chance to say, "That's why you haven't been concentrating well, isn't it? You're constantly lost in thought. Is it about what to do or what you think or what?" before he kept talking, but Claire rarely let people let out every single thing that they had to say before she started to speak again. "I told her I did know her dad... That man from the bar was me... She didn't like that too much..." he said, finishing up.
She considered him for a moment before she stood up, watching him continuing to pace. "Did you leave it like that, or did you two have a real conversation about it? Are you planning to go talk to her again?" Claire asked the two questions quickly, with an eyebrow raised at him. Silently, she was wondering what it would be like to discover that you had a long lost child that might not want anything to do with you. It was something Claire simply could not imagine, with no children of her own and absolutely no way that she could be in that situation. When Sirius had been with countless girls in school, Claire had always wondered a little if one day his stupidity would leave him in a situation that he didn't want to be in. A situation where he would have to find out something hadn't gone his way - particularly, her logical brain considering the fact that he could get a girl pregnant. She had used that possibility as a way to try to get him to stop what he was doing, but it had clearly never worked - Kayla had gotten pregnant, and everything had changed after that. And then with this woman from years ago, the same thing had happened: but he was just finding out now.
"Remember how I always said to not sleep with random girls?" she asked, half heartedly, finishing, "I always told you there could be a surprise result." Sirius had probably never even considered this could happen. He had lost his family, but there was someone else out there now - if only Juliette would give him a chance for them to have some sort of relationship. Claire wondered if she would, if Sirius and Juliette could get something good out of this. There was a tiny bit of hope in Claire, more than she usually had, given that she was extremely pessimistic and cynical. But she was hoping they could make this better, into a beter situation.
"To be completely honest I'm a mental wreck and have a headache..." he said, having returned to sitting down on the porch steps, and she sat down in the space beside him, turning her head to look up at him. "I haven't slept enough, I hurt, I want to go running again anyway to try and get my head straight but I know it wont work..." Claire sighed. "Maybe trying to talk to her again would clear your head. She's had time to think about it, so maybe it'll go differently. You can at least say what you want to say, what you've been thinking about constantly in the past few days," Claire suggested. Pausing, she considered the options, and then said, "It's not something that will be great and perfect immediately, but you might feel better if you go and try again, so you're not just dwelling on it every moment of the day."
He continued talking, as he said, "As far as what I'm thinking about the whole situation... I don't know... She basically hates me... Think's I'm a piece of garbage... Doesn't want anything to do with me... But I don't want her to stay at the orphanage cause she will just keep running away back to her old house and I of all people know how bad for her that would be... I just don't know what to fucking do..." Claire sighed again, closing her eyes for a moment. After a long pause, she said, "Well, even though she doesn't want anything to do with you, you might be proving her point by not talking to her ever again. You should try." She paused again, and then said, taking a more thoughtful approach that was about a different aspect of the topic, "You're right; that orphanage and her going back to the house all the time isn't the right thing for her to do." Claire bit her lip, looking over at him again, before saying, "I'm not good with this - with advice, or people. I would be the worst person to deal with a situation like this. But we can figure something out."
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