Surprises Come from the Most Unlikely Places,

[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

Everything had been executed well over the last week. When they arrived at work one morning Sirius had arranged for a single rose and a note to be on Claire's desk a week before the night of the ball. The note simply read, "I wanted to take you last time. Wasn't brave enough to ask. Please meet me in the Entrance Hall at the start of the night. I'll be waiting." Sirius had promptly poked and prodded to know what the note was all about and upon her telling him, he continued to tease Claire about her secret admirer on and off through out the days to come. Soon enough he had Claire's curiosity going crazy and she admitted she was going to go. If for nothing else, than to find out who sent the damn rose and letter in the first place. What were they talking about, I wanted to take you last time? The last time there had been a Masquerade Ball, they had been in school themselves. It was something the new Headmaster was bringing back.

Sirius had told Claire over and over again that he was not interested in going to the ball. It was not something he had gone to when they were in school, why bother to go now? After all, she had a date to go meet at least and he would be going alone. Claire had all but threatened -and even done that a little to be honest- him to get him to come along. So he promised that he would go, but he did not want to show up until the crowds were no longer all in the Entrance Hall. He wanted to just go, and sit at the bar and wait for her to come talk to him if the date was a dud. But if her date went over well, then he would see her later that night. Claire was not exactly thrilled about his comments of sitting at the bar but knew that was the best she would get out of him so left the subject alone. Just as he had hoped she would.

He went to Albus house for dinner about the time Claire was getting ready for the ball. Or at least that is what he had told her. He was actually going to Albus house to get cleaned up for the dance himself. He dressed in his nicest formal robes, simple in color black with a dark read undershirt. He poured himself a glass of whiskey as he looked himself over in the mirror. He stood tall as always, shifting his weight off onto his good leg after having put his knee brace on over the black pants. His hair combed back as well as it was going to stay and the little scruff of a bead and mustache he had grown used to. He put on the black mask that was customary for a man at a Masked Ball and gave himself one last look over as he downed the drink in his glass. Guess that was going to have to do, it had been since his wedding day that he had last dressed up like this and it seemed he was more nervous tonight than he had been then. Just out of habit, Sirius pulled his flask from his pocket and filled it with whiskey and then replaced it in his pocket and it was time to go.

Standing just off to the side in the Entrance hall so that he could see and be seen he shifted on his feet nervously. Had he made a mistake doing this? No, not at all. If anything, it gave the two of them a night to relax. But maybe, just maybe, he was right. He had felt it more recently, since they had started living together and all. The flame that was the two of them back in school, never really went out, because it never really started to grow in the first place. His note had been true, he had thought of asking Claire to the Masquerade Ball when they were in school, but didn't for fear that she wouldn't have thought of him the same way. Things had proven other wise in the months after that, making him regret holding back on doing that. Things could have gone in a totally different direction. But in the months after that was when everything changed and any chance the two of them had was gone.

But now, Sirius felt, was a time to start over. A time to try again, to try and find some sort of peace in his life. And to be honest, things had been going a lot better and he had been a lot happier, since he had started to spend even more time with Claire. And it seemed she felt the same. Even with the chaos, it was nice. So he waited, a second single rose in his hand, waiting to see her walk through the door and wait and see what was going to happen next.

word count, 847
tags, claire/jana
notes, not a great intro but it gets the job done ^^

**Just as a side note, the ball is a week before the disaster takes place**

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: nine hundred and fourteen tag: padfoot/sirius notes: aslkdjfs

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Claire had initially been a little unsure, almost unnerved by the note she had found on her desk one morning. It had said, "I wanted to take you last time. Wasn't brave enough to ask. Please meet me in the Entrance Hall at the start of the night. I'll be waiting," and was accompanied by a rose. Of course, it drove her crazy over the following week leading up to the ball, which she had not even planned to go to, despite the invitation. Instead, Sirius spent every posible moment that he had to bug her about the invitation, as of course the always nosy Sirius had wanted to read it as well. For the first few days, he brought it up and asked and teased her about it constantly, until it got to the point where she was about to hex him so that he could not say a word about it. But he had gotten her curious, and finally he convinced her to say she would go, just to see.

Claire was being surprisingly clueless about it, really. She had thought it over so many times and yet had come up with no ideas as to who it could have been that sent the invitation. As far as she knew, there hadn't been a ball for years, probably even since she had been in school. The headmaster was inviting more than students to this; it was more of a ball for the wizarding world overall. Claire did know others going, as it was an opportunity to visit the school and have fun. But the note had said 'I wanted to ask you last time,' which frustrated Claire as she couldn't figure it out. Nobody had ever wanted to ask her to the ball anyways, from what she could remember, and she had never cared. There had been one person, which she would never admit, but that simply had not happened and wasn't a possibility.

It did come to mind at one point, on the day of the ball itself. She was hanging around the house with Sirius earlier when the thought came to mind, but she pushed it off immediately. It was ridiculous to think it was Sirius behind it and it didn't fit. She had thought of herself and Sirius more and more recently as he had gotten so much better and her old thoughts came back. But she reminded herself, I don't have any feelings for him. Claire never lied to herself, or to Sirius, but clearly there was one thing that she did hide from both of them.

Sirius left for dinner at his brother's, but had promised to show up to sit and drink - she had protested about that part - after her endless requests (and small threats) that he should come, just in case. She was thinking a lot about how it had been such a long time since she had last gone on a date; there were several reasons behind that, but Claire would say to herself and others that it was because she was too busy with work and not looking for a relationship anymore. A series of failed relationships were certainly affecting her choice not to go on dates anymore, but there was more.

Once Sirius had left her alone at the house, she got ready, not lingering too long over the process of it. Claire had never really cared how she looked or dressed, but she had planned what to wear beforehand. Not long before the time the ball was to begin, she was wearing a dark purple dress - simple enough for her, just fancy enough for the occasion - and a pair of heels, her hair twisted up easily. She arrived just at the time for the start of the ball, a pair of dress robes open over her dress and holding a mask that she really did not feel like wearing. As she spoke to someone she knew, she realized that she would probably have to wait there to be met. When she was alone again, her eyes took yet another scan of the entrance hall, and she found that there was nobody she knew waiting there. She pursed her lips, already irritated at the situation and a bit annoyed at Sirius for pushing her to go, until she noticed Sirius himself on the edge of the remaining crowd. She turned and folded her arms, looking at him with raised eyebrows as he had said he wouldn't be here at this time -

And then it made sense - well, it didn't completely make sense to her - but he was holding a rose just like the one from earlier and was more dressed up than she had seen him in years and years and there was nobody else there and god, she was such an idiot, she thought as she stepped over to him slowly. Standing in front of him, she dropped her arms but raised her eyebrows at him again, trying to remain calm and speak smoothly and - she really didn't even know what at this point. "My date isn't here," she said, "I have a feeling he's a bit of an idiot." She was starting to a grin a little, even as she worried that she was wrong. And she had to admit to herself, being right would not be bad at all.

[/size]

[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

The crowds grew rapidly as people started to show up for the event, but they periodically thinned out as people would disperse into the Great Hall for the event. Sirius couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous, had this many butterflies. He had never once not been confidant in what he wanted with a woman except with Claire. From the time they were teens until now, that had never once varied in truth. He kept watch nervously on the door and suddenly his attention was caught. There she was, beautiful as every other day, dressed in a simple purple dress -perfect for Claire. She wasn't the kind to show off when it wasn't needed. That was one of the things he had always liked about Claire. Even if today, he had dressed to impress.

Standing there he thought to himself again, was this the best idea? Had she figured it out yet? What was this night going to lead to in the future? All those unanswered questions were floating around in his head but nothing seemed to tell him he should not have done this. He was dead set on having a good night and letting Claire know how he felt. At least she deserved to know that much, even if she did not feel the same towards him. But it was nerve wracking to think that he was finally going to do this after all these years of ignoring it. For once, his thoughts were not focused on work, or his losses. It was only on his future and what was in store from this point forward and he had to admit it was a nice refreshing feeling.

That was when he noticed Claire come towards him and he could not keep his signature charming smile that had gotten him so far with so many girls in the past. It was not that he tried to use it to his advantage like that, it was just something that he did. A look he had, a feeling it gave off when he had that particular smile on his face. He held out the rose to her just as she started to speak. "My date isn't here," she said, "I have a feeling he's a bit of an idiot." To this Sirius saw the grin on her face and instantly he knew she knew. She was as unsure as him about the whole thing but she knew.

He looked around the room as he pulled the rose just far enough away from her grasp, and he smirked. "Not here, hmm?" he said simply and tapped the rose against his temple as though it were a pen and he were thinking hard about something. Then he gave her a mock hurt look at her last comment. "Oh, he must be to think you would show up at a ball without having any idea who you're there to meet. It certainly is unlike you Miss Pierce." He then extended the rose to her one more time. "But if I'm an idiot, then so be it." He grinned once more, "But it did work, so maybe I'm not such an idiot after all?"

Years ago, when Sirius would have gotten to this point with a girl, he would have felt all nerves flea him as confidence shined through. Tonight however, the nerves stayed, the butterflies swarmed his stomach as they hadn't before in his life. But for some reason, he couldn't keep that grin off of his face.

word count, 596
tags, claire/jana
notes, short >.<

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: six hundred seventy one tag: padfoot/sirius notes: hope this is good!

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As she walked over to her best friend, Claire had a small grin beginning to tug at her mouth. If she was right, she was going to feel pretty ridiculous - they were thirty eight years old and it had taken them twenty years for one of them to make even the tiniest of moves on the other. He could have just asked her when they were in school, and she was almost shocked to realize that he had not been "brave enough to ask" her the last time, but she smiled to herself that he had wanted to take her. Honestly, she was starting to feel like an annoying teenage girl, contemplating the whole 'why didn't he ask me' type of issue that girls had always debated and worried over when she was a teenager. Naturally, Claire had not been one of them, but there was a part of her, at eighteen years old, disappointed when nothing had ever happened between them.

He grinned back at her, and she felt it all click in, although she was still struggling to, well, understand it all. Coming to a stop in front of him, she looked over him; he was dressed very nicely, she hadn't seen him try so hard for really long time, and, well, he looked very good, she had to admit to herself. It was something that she so rarely acknowledged, even to herself. His typical charming smile was on his face, but for once, it didn't annoy her. It just didn't seem insincere this time. He held a rose for her, matching the one that had been left on her desk the week before.

All of a sudden, quickly before he replied to what she said, she thought about what she worked so hard to keep behind a wall where she couldn't think about it. This was something that she had thought about, pushed back, practically fought with for twenty years. She knew how she felt about Sirius, but it was something she had never completely come to terms with and acknowledged. And the questions started to come up in her mind. What did this mean for them? Did Sirius really mean this? Did she want this? But as he started talking, she realized she wasn't going to worry about it for now, and that felt really good. "Not here, hmm?" he asked, tapping his temple with the rose. "Oh, he must be to think you would show up at a ball without having any idea who you're there to meet. It certainly is unlike you Miss Pierce," he continued, and she resisted the urge to be extremely sarcastic, settling to say, "I suppose I couldn't help myself. Curiosity gets even me, especially after a certain someone pushes me constantly to do it." She glanced down and said, "It doesn't seem like it was a complete waste of time after all."

He held out the rose to her again and she took it, smiling and looking down at it for a long moment as he said, "But if I'm an idiot, then so be it. But it did work, so maybe I'm not such an idiot after all?" She looked up to find him grinning again, and she couldn't help but smirk and say, because some things never change after all, "You're still a complete idiot. I'm not going to change my mind about that after all these years." She noticed that he wouldn't stop grinning, to the point where he wasn't the perfectly cool, smooth, and charming guy he had always been with all the girls in school, and all the women he came across, whether or not he was flirting or just talking with them - Sirius was always so annoyingly charming to people. But she could not keep the smile off her face at the thought that he wasn't being stupid about this, the way he had been stupid with everything else. However, she met his eyes again, uncertain of what to do next. Where should they go from here?

[/size]

[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

Everything else in the vast entrance hall seemed so distant, almost non existent to him right now. The only thing there was him and Claire. Recently, living together, Sirius had realized more and more that he wouldn't be able to put his emotions on the back burner forever. He had once wanted this so badly and never got the chance to take the risk he was now. He knew it was a risk, if things didn't work out there was a chance he would lose his best friend. But for some reason he just didn't see that happening to them. It was as though this was meant to be all this time and he just finally had to go for it. He had gone through denial, depression and even thoughts of suicide in the past few years but now things were finally looking up. He had been genuinely happy for the first time in years. And he knew he owed that mostly to Claire, and he was never going to be afraid to admit it. Their ridiculous banter, teasing of each other, serious conversations and general comfort around one another got him through the day and now finally it was time to make sure she knew just how much she meant to him.

"I suppose I couldn't help myself. Curiosity gets even me, especially after a certain someone pushes me constantly to do it." Sirius smirked after she said this and his response was simple, "I don't know what you're talking about, who would do such a thing?" She glanced down and said, "It doesn't seem like it was a complete waste of time after all." To this he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her eyes back to his and smiled. "You have no idea how good it is to hear that. I really have been nervous about this all week." He wondered for a short moment if she would believe this. He had been perfectly normal around her all week but he knew it was just a facade he had going so she wouldn't suspect anything. He had wanted it to be the perfect surprise, the perfect night. A better date than she had ever experienced before. After all, she really did deserve nothing but the best.

Every word that passed his lips was normally smooth and executed perfectly when he was on a date. Tonight he found himself almost fumbling over the words. He never once would have told another woman that he was nervous, that he had been anticipating this for such a length of time as a week. Even if he had been. He never even told Kayla that he was nervous before their wedding day. For some reason, he always found himself pouring out truths to Claire that he could not tell to anyone else. Perhaps it was that they had known each other for so long. That they had been from hell and back together or that he knew she could pull the truth from him with a simple look if he even tried to lie to her. But the even more surprising thing about it was that it didn't bother him. He just spoke, every word sincere and nothing thought about before hand. No cheesey pick up lines, no ridiculous, over the top flirting. He was just being himself, the way he had always been around Claire, but maybe more the way he had always wanted to be. He had buried all these feelings for so many years that it was time for them to finally break free.

Then she looked back at him once again and smirked, saying, ""You're still a complete idiot. I'm not going to change my mind about that after all these years." He couldn't help but chuckle as he reached out and ran his fingers tenderly down her cheek. "Oh, I've given you a lifetime of reasons for you to call me that. I wouldn't expect you to change your opinion this late in life. I've earned that title from you." All these years, Sirius had done one ridiculous thing after the other, countless acts of stupidity and Claire had never once been afraid to tell him when he messed up. But tonight, she wasn't telling him that. If she thought this was a mistake, she would have already told him, he knew that much. She didn't hesitate with a chance to call him an idiot and tell him he was wrong. She just didn't. Which made him wonder, has she been feeling the same way he had this whole time? Maybe he was far more oblivious of the situation this whole time than he had thought. But one way or another, he felt things were finally on track, the way they should be.

The real question was this. How would things play out from here? Would they tell anyone? Would they keep it to themselves for now? Would it make working together difficult? Sirius had did not know the answer to the first two, but the last one he knew for certain was a no. He had felt this way about Claire for quite some time, and his feelings only ever got stronger over time. It never distracted him from his work and the two of them worked so well together probably because they cared about one another so much. He couldn't help but let these thoughts swirl through his mind briefly, but as quick as they had come to mind they were gone, as he caught another look at her smile, her eyes, and suddenly he stopped thinking all together. He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, and leaned down to the woman much shorter than him, and kissed her with passion that he had not felt in years. It had been an impulse, all thoughts gone, he hadn't realized he was going to do it until he had already done it. And for the moment, the rest of the world left him, all worries, anything from his past gone. It was just him, and Claire, the way he knew he wanted things to be from now.

word count, 1,038
tags, claire/jana
notes, surprise!!! <3

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: one thousand and forty five words tag: padfoot/sirius
notes: ahh this is really long and rambly and terrible but hopefully you think it's okay!

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The crowd in the entrance hall had already dwindled, reduced to a few people standing around waiting for others or talking to people as they slowly made their way into the great hall. Claire barely noticed that there were others in the hall or that they had reduced in number by this time. She and Sirius were off to the side of the hall and Claire just simply ignored everything else for once. She was always so observant and aware of everything going on - Sirius joked that she could not only read minds, but that she also had eyes on the back of her head - but right now, it was just Sirius. As she stood there, she was trying to appear calm and speak as normally as usual, but inside, she was completely freaking out. Claire never really got nervous - situations that normally stressed people out? Claire would go through them with grace, dignity, and no nerves. And those life or death situations she so often put herself in? Claire could handle them in a shockingly calm manner. But put her in front of Sirius, in a brand new situation that she never truly considered, and she's terrified, really.

She didn't even really let herself feel the excitement and the happiness that she should feel, because she was too consumed by nerves. This was Sirius, she reminded herself. Sirius, who she had known for her entire life, who got her through everything, who she had seen through all his terrible circumstances. It was stupid, she thought. She should be laughing and witty and calm because this was Sirius, for god's sake. But this was also new. Claire didn't really want to let herself consider what was going to happen, but she couldn't stop herself from overthinking this. He had been living with for a little while now, and it had made her think about this more and more often, something that she had always pushed away and attempted to ignore.

Sirius smirked at her as usual and said, "I don't know what you're talking about, who would do such a thing?" She rolled her eyes and spoke in a carefully controlled voice, trying to contain what she was feeling and not letting everything come together to make her a mess. "You're an idiot," she told him again. "It didn't have to be so... so complicated," she added. Honestly, it didn't need to be - not that this wasn't nice and lovely, because it was, but Sirius could have asked her or something. But she was smiling, because she was not going to complain.

After she ducked her head, her eyes cast away to the floor instead of looking at him, he suddenly gently cupped her chin and tipped her head back. She met his eyes this time and his stupid contagious smile had the same effect as it often did. "You have no idea how good it is to hear that. I really have been nervous about this all week," he told her. She tilted her head a little, questioningly - "You, James Sirius Potter, nervous?" she asked jokingly, but she meant it. She was nervous, but it was hard to imagine Sirius that way. He was rarely nervous, not about this. Maybe that meant something about this. He also certainly never told anyone that he was nervous, and she always knew that their relationship was different, but this was something entirely new. He wasn't being his usual flirty self either, he just seemed himself and nervous and sweet.

She couldn't look away from him as he gently ran his fingers down her cheek. While he was sweet and genuine and not flirty, Claire was awkward and quiet and not sure what to do. He said, "Oh, I've given you a lifetime of reasons for you to call me that. I wouldn't expect you to change your opinion this late in life. I've earned that title from you." Now she smiled a little again, saying, "You certainly have earned that title. Do you think I could even list all the reasons I get to call you that?" Tonight wasn't on that list. The only thing related to that was that it had taken them so goddamn long.

Her anxious thoughts about this whole thing - What was going to happen tonight? What was he going to say? How would she respond? What was going to happen with them? - started to take over in a way she never let happen, at least not when she was around him. But then he suddenly broke into her thoughts and answered a question by leaning down and kissing her. For a moment, she was in complete shock before moving without thinking, a little closer to him and standing taller on the balls of her feet due to their height difference, kissing him back. It was truly just Sirius and Claire for that time, but then she pulled away, still rather close to him as she stared at him in silence for a long moment.

"Sirius, I..." she began, her voice shaky and breathless, but didn't know how to continue. She paused for her a long moment before speaking again, her voice still shaky as she said, with an attempt at her usual tone, "You could have done that twenty years ago." Saying that raised new points to her - What if he hadn't wanted this twenty years ago, like she did? What if she had been wrong, and they hadn't been so, so close to getting together when they were seventeen or eighteen? What if he took that a different way, thinking of his wife and - she stopped herself, saying, "I mean - or ten or a few years ago or months ago or yesterday or something -" She trailed off, realizing she sounded stupid and not really herself as she was nervous and rambling and felt embarrassed.

She looked away from him, frozen to the spot but feeling the heat in her cheeks as she blushed. Stupid Sirius - nobody made her blush, ever, but somehow this idiot managed to make her sound and act ridiculous. Stupid, fucking Sirius. I hate Sirius, she thought. (But she knew that she really, really didn't.)

[/size]

[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

"You're an idiot," she told him again. "It didn't have to be so... so complicated," To this Sirius simply shrugged. "The note wasn't explanation enough? I didn't want to just ask. I didn't want to get a no." The honest truth was, he was afraid that everything he had been feeling for Claire was not a mutual feeling between the two. He was afraid she would call him an idiot, which she did anyway, but in a caring way that only Claire can. He was more afraid that after being called an idiot it would be followed by a "what were you thinking". He had always liked being romantic, making girls smile, making them know that he made all that effort just for them. After all these years of things like that coming naturally and being so simple and easy to please, he figured it was finally time to rise to the challenge of trying to impress Claire. Without being too flashy, or out there. Something romantic but still simple. For once, he wanted to make sure she knew that she was the one he wanted to be with. That he was ready for that now. For them. They had almost been a thing once, hadn't they?

When he told her he had been apprehensive waiting for this throughout the week She tilted her head a little, questioningly - "You, James Sirius Potter, nervous?" He nodded a little. "Hard to believe, right?" he said with a smile. "I bet you never thought you would hear those words from me, did you?" The truth was, even Sirius couldn't believe just how nervous this whole situation made him. He hadn't known what to expect and he certainly hadn't expected himself to be so goddamn nervous about the whole thing. He always knew what to say and how to say it and tonight it just didn't seem to be happening as easily as it usually did. Yes, his remarks were quick and smart assed as always, but that was how things always were with Claire. With any other woman he had ever been with it was pure flirt until he got where he wanted. Maybe though, it was because he wanted more with Claire that this wasn't so easy for him. Maybe, it was because he knew and knew for a fact that his bag of tricks would not work on her, that he found himself so flustered tonight. But either way, the nerves, the uncertainty, it was all worth it.

Her eyes never left his, and he wondered if it was the same for her as him. Where it truly felt like they were the only two in that nearly empty entrance hall. Most everyone else had left and gone into the ball by now, except for those last minute stragglers and the people who were still waiting to be joined. "You certainly have earned that title. Do you think I could even list all the reasons I get to call you that?" At this he laughed again, "I thought you would have written them down, a log of sorts. With all the stupid stuff I have done and the dates so if the need ever arose, you could call me out on it or remind me not to do it again when I attempted to." Truth, Sirius knew he had done a lot of stupid things in the past and almost every single one was something Claire called him an idiot for. That list was long, and would surely grow more over the rest of their lives. But that was perfectly okay with him, as long as she was always around to remind him and call him that. It was something he had grown used to and knew he would feel very lost without.

When he kissed her, he lost the rest of the world for a little bit and he thought maybe, she did too, as she made herself a little taller standing on the balls of her feet. When she broke the kiss after a long moment, he brought his hands down around her waist, keeping her close. It felt good, comforting, like he hadn't felt in a long time and never this, what was the word for it... Right. It had never felt this right. He knew that if things had been different when they were teenagers, they would have probably been together a long time before now. And they weren't even officially a couple yet but to Sirius it felt as though maybe they had been for a long time, they just didn't know it yet. "Sirius, I..." she paused, as though unsure of what to say for a moment. "You could have done that twenty years ago." And just as quickly as she said that she added, "I mean - or ten or a few years ago or months ago or yesterday or something -" Then she cut herself off and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Claire, not knowing what to say, fumbling over her words. That never happened. Never.

"I know, I shouldn't have waited so long..." he said softly, and brushed her hair behind her ear. "If I had done this twenty years ago though, I would have messed it up... I'm a better man now than I was then. At least a little closer to the kind of guy you deserve." as he said this, his eyes wandered to their feet, so close together because of how close they stood. He had never once admitted that he was not proud of the way he had been in school, running around from girl to girl. Back then, his biggest fear about having something with Claire was that he would mess it up and lose both a relationship and a best friend. He knew she deserved the best and he knew that wasn't him, but hell, at this point, he had wanted it long enough he figured he better damn well try to be.


word count, 1,002
tags, claire/jana
notes, aaaaaand, here it is! (:

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: one thousand and fifty nine words tag: padfoot/sirius
notes: alskdjfalsd hopefully this is alright! rambly/too long as usual

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He shrugged and said, "The note wasn't explanation enough? I didn't want to just ask. I didn't want to get a no." She smiled a little and replied, "Well, you definitely wouldn't have gotten a no." Thinking about it now, she did like the gesture; it was cute and rather romantic, really, now that she considered it. The note had also been a good explanation and she smiled to herself as she thought again that he had wanted to ask her last time. Honestly, they were ridiculous. Last time - as in, twenty years ago when they were in school. Somehow they had ended up waiting this long. She kept smiling, unable to take it completely off her face, as she realized that he must actually feel the same way - she had never even really considered it being that way.

She stood before him, nerves and thoughts still beginning to consume her as they rarely did. She was barely ever nervous, but always thinking, even if it didn't usually take over, except for recently being the new reason behind not being able to sleep. He replied again, saying with a smile, "Hard to believe, right? I bet you never thought you would hear those words from me, did you?" She shrugged, admitting, "Not really. I always knew that you did get nervous - I've been able to read it on your face before, but you've said it out loud maybe once or twice, and barely even then." Claire was the same way; even with Sirius, she would not readily admit a perceived weakness, like nerves. She grinned a little, noticing that he wasn't a smooth as usual, as annoyingly charming and flirty, and she guessed it was because he was nervous. She had to admit to herself that was something nice to know, because he was taking it seriously and actually cared about this, unlike times in the past when he would not be nervous at all. He couldn't just flirt with her the way he had done with other people; it would not work, not even a bit, with her and it would only irritate her.

Claire, on the other hand, was awful at relationships. She had pushed away or scared off everybody in the past, and she's wasn't the average girl who loves romance and having a boyfriend and dating. She hated pointless so called romantic things and was bad at relationships - closed off, private, workaholic, sharp at the edges. But maybe it was partially because of a nagging thought each time that they just weren't right for her. Even now with Sirius, she didn't know what to do other than attempt her regular sarcasm and witty responses, just ending up awkward and quiet and unsure of how to act and what to say.

Now he laughed, bringing her out of her thoughts as he said, "I thought you would have written them down, a log of sorts. With all the stupid stuff I have done and the dates so if the need ever arose, you could call me out on it or remind me not to do it again when I attempted to." She smirked and said, "You know how my memory is. It's a memorized mental list. An extremely long and detailed, memorized mental list dating back as far as I can remember." She did remember the stupid things he had done throughout the years, often using examples as jokes or support for her arguments with him. She could cite all the times she had dealt with him terribly drunk. She could tell people about certain situations where he was simply an idiot. She remembered each time that he did something to merit her screaming at him, all the times he pissed her off. But she also recalled good things, even if she didn't highlight those on a regular basis. Instead, she used the bad, stupid, irritating, and awful things as a way to remind him, to bring him back to bring the great person he was, even if he messed up sometimes, or at least bring him back to being less annoying and stupid. Sometimes she liked to think of herself as his conscience, because they both knew he needed it sometimes for stupid things and mistakes and bad choices.

Kissing Sirius was a new experience and it sort of felt like the rest of the world disappeared, leaving just Sirius with her. When she pulled away, she stared at him, still surprised, as he put his hands around her waist. Now that he had done that, and gotten this night and the whole thing to happen, she somehow was amazed for the first time that they hadn't just done this a lot earlier. It felt so much more right than anything in the past. Everything had always been different with Sirius, after all. Their friendship surpassed any that she had with others and people always commented on how incredibly close they were. Life without him was unimaginable and now this was so different and special.

Now he smiled at her, saying as he brushed her hair behind her ear, "I know, I shouldn't have waited so long... If I had done this twenty years ago though, I would have messed it up... I'm a better man now than I was then. At least a little closer to the kind of guy you deserve." As his eyes left hers to stare at the floor, she realized that he had never outright acknowledged that he hadn't been the greatest guy in school, not until now. She smiled again, unable to speak for a moment, touched by what he said. "Despite everything, and everything I harassed you about, you weren't a bad guy then," she said finally. "Then, and certainly now, you're more than I deserve." She meant that; Sirius had been better than most when they were in school, even if he had the tendency to get drunk all the time and go from girl to girl. And now she was really proud of him. He was both so different from how he had been years ago and exactly the person she had known that he could be and that had just made her feel this way about him more and more. She hesitated, and then said in a rush, "Sirius, are - are you sure about this? I can't just..." she trailed off, looking away; can't just throw our life long friendship away for something that you don't think will last; can't just do this if you don't want it as much as I do. She had a feeling that he would be able to guess what she was thinking anyways. It wasn't that she was unsure or hesitant, but Claire just thought too much.

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[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

"Well, you definitely wouldn't have gotten a no." Even though by now he could tell that she meant what she said, hearing it still flooded him with relief that he had not done the wrong thing. It had taken them this long to finally get to this point, and it might be ridiculous, but he really felt that there had been a fifty, fifty chance that this would go the way he was hoping it would. The fact of the matter was, he had known Claire for a long time. And they knew each other inside and out. All except the one thing neither one ever told the other, which apparently was their true feelings for one another. Why though, he had no idea. Maybe they both feared that things would not go the way the wanted it to. Feared that the other would feel uncomfortable knowing their feelings if they were not mutual. But honestly, it was kind of nice to know that she really did feel the same for him. But it still kind of blew his mind a little.

Admitting nervousness was one thing he had not even really meant to do. Right now it felt more like his heart was speaking and his brain was on standby. Not something he was used to at all. Nothing was planned out or thought of ahead of time. It was the pure and honest truth. Which is not to say he never told the truth, he just normally thought more before he spoke. Usually quickly and not for very long, but just long enough to make sure he wasn't going to sound like a dumb ass. But right now, he had no control over himself, his thoughts or his words. "Not really. I always knew that you did get nervous - I've been able to read it on your face before, but you've said it out loud maybe once or twice, and barely even then." she said to him and he smiled a little. "I guess its just something that happens when I'm with you..." and that was the truth more than anything. He couldn't and wouldn't have told anyone else something like that, not ever. Nerves were a weakness and everything from the way he talks to the way he walks and does his best to not let the chronic pain in his knee get to him was his way of making sure no one ever underestimated his strength. Ever. But with Claire, none of that mattered, he was just himself. Always. Though, more tonight than ever before.

"You know how my memory is. It's a memorized mental list. An extremely long and detailed, memorized mental list dating back as far as I can remember." At this he grinned for a moment, and then said, "You know, that scares me. Because you remember a lot more than I do." though what he did not say was that most the things he doesn't remember, he was ridiculously drunk for. Sirius absolutely knows he has a drinking problem and that it gets out of hand from time to time. But ever since he was fifteen -- no fourteen? Something like that, it had always been a part of him and one he was not very good at giving up. He would cut back on it from time to time after doing something ridiculously stupid, but it was never permanent. And he definitely could not go a single day without having at least one glass of whiskey and a cigarette. He knew those were the things that Claire absolutely could not stand about him and he was willing to work on it. But he knew he could never promise to quit for good, that would be a lie and he refused to lie to Claire when it came down to it.

Finally, he said aloud words he had never spoken. Never come close to spoken. He admitted he was not proud of the way he used to be. That he never thought he was good enough for her, not even now. His eyes found the floor, slightly embarrassed, slightly more nervous, and just all together unsure of himself at the moment. "Despite everything, and everything I harassed you about, you weren't a bad guy then," she said finally. "Then, and certainly now, you're more than I deserve." Her words were honest and surprised him. He couldn't believe she would say that, she was always telling him back then that he needed to grow up. Stop acting like he did. One day, it happened, but it wasn't with her. Sirius had loved Kayla, but he always knew it wasn't as perfect as it could be. He wasn't as happy as he could be. He loved her, had a family with her, but even though for years he had told everyone, Claire was just a friend, she was always more than that for him. But he knew he was not good enough for her, she deserved so much better than him. Someone she wouldn't need to worry about him cheating on her, someone who wouldn't stay out all night getting drunk, not caring about his heath and not taking care of himself. Someone who would treat her like she was their everything. But now, he knew that he couldn't wait anymore. This was right, he could be that man for her now. He still had some of his old habits, but one thing was for sure. He would treat her like she is his everything because she is. Through thick and thin, from hell and back she had been there for him, times when he needed someone and times he really didn't deserve anyone.

"Sirius, are - are you sure about this? I can't just..." she stopped there, but he knew how that sentence should have ended. They couldn't risk losing each others friendship to something that wouldn't make it. Was he sure this is what he really wanted, not just something he had thought up for the night? The answer was quicker in his head than anything ever had been. There was no need to think it over. The answer was, "Yeah, I'm sure about this." He said softly, bringing his eyes back to hers, his smile sincere. "Absolutely sure... No doubt in my mind. This is right. This is where I should be right now... And hopefully for the rest of my life... I've never been more sure about something in my life." Every word flowed easily, because it was the truth. He ran his fingers through her hair, and kissed her once again, but this time it was short lived, and he pressed his forehead against her, and just looked in her eyes with a smile on his face.

word count, 1,128
tags, claire/jana
notes, yay

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: seven hundred eleven words tag: padfoot/sirius
notes: sorry this took so long! i've been so busy ugh

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"I guess its just something that happens when I'm with you..." he told her with a smile, which caused her to smile again. Sirius admitting that was big - he was never nervous, not around other people and so rarely with Claire or even important, bad situations. It eased her nerves a little to know that he was nervous, because then he cared about this, and he meant it. He would not be nervous about this if it were just nothing, if it was just another time for him to flirt with someone. She didn’t quite know what to say, however, and that was something new for her.

Now he grinned about her claim of a memorized, mental list, saying, "You know, that scares me. Because you remember a lot more than I do." She smirked, looking pleased. ”It should scare you,” she said with satisfaction, before she added, ”If you want an idea of what it’s like, you can take a look at your official work file at the office. You might not have realized that putting me in charge of all the files and reports - because you’re lazy - means that I am also in charge of your file. It’s full of all the idiotic things you’ve done at work, but that really doesn’t cover all the things you’ve done in your life.” She had gone with what she knew and what she was used to: being annoying and sarcastic, as well as teasing him.

She chose not to comment on the things in the file or the memories she had - certainly not the reasons behind them, at least - because she really just didn’t want to think about it. She was reminded of Sirius’s bad habits way too often, although she knew they were a little better now. He wasn’t allowed to keep too much whiskey in the house, he couldn’t smoke in the house because she didn’t want to smell it and have it all in the air, and he couldn’t get drunk. These days, he drank a smaller amount while hanging around the house with her at night after work before going to bed. It had been a pretty much unspoken rule when he moved in - there was already a fine line before that, after all.

She was still surprised to hear him say those words, to admit what he felt about how he used to be. He too looked surprised when she told him that he had never been a bad guy, even when he was in school, or at any other time. She meant it, and simply said quietly, “Thank you for saying that to me... And I mean what I said.” She looked down at the floor like he had done before, twisting her hands nervously. Her eyes flicked back up when he spoke again, softly saying, “I’m sure about this.” He didn’t even stop to think before he replied and said that, and he continued, “Absolutely sure... No doubt in my mind. This is right. This is where I should be right now... And hopefully for the rest of my life... I’ve never been more sure about something in my life.” She stared at him in shock for a moment, starting to smile. The always talking Claire Pierce, who always had something to say, was speechless - that was something that seemed to keep happening tonight.

He kissed her before she could reply, and then she kept smiling again when he pulled away. “Me too,” she said quietly, her voice shaking a little. Claire rarely lost her control and composure, but somehow it seemed that Sirius tended to do that to her, whether it was sending her into an angry fit of yelling or a quiet but clear disappointment - or an obvious display of emotion like this. But she wasn’t good with words when it came to situations like this. After a quiet pause, she grinned as stepped back a little, grabbing his hand. “Well, you asked me to this, so isn’t it time to show me all that charm, all those reasons that convince a girl to date you?” she asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

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[James Sirius Potter]

COME BACK AND TELL ME WHY
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
AND MEET ME HERE TONIGHT
and let me know that it's not all in my mind

Everything felt normal, right, but exciting and new at the same time. He had never been so comfortable around someone, and yet so apprehensive at the same time. The two of them talking, being sarcastic, smart asses with one another was just so every day for them, that it was hard to be anything but. Even when he was feeling so... Different, about everything right now. But the only thing that was really different, was that now, all their feelings were up in the air for the first time in, well, ever. It was the first time that they actually, one hundred percent, knew each other. In a way, he kind of had always known her feelings for him. But in another way, he always thought it was just him, seeing and feeling what he hoped was true. It was a better feeling than he could put words to to know that he wasn't dreaming, this was real, and she felt about him like he did about her.

His thoughts were interrupted when she commented on her memorized list and his file at work. ”It should scare you,” she said with satisfaction, before she added, ”If you want an idea of what it’s like, you can take a look at your official work file at the office. You might not have realized that putting me in charge of all the files and reports - because you’re lazy - means that I am also in charge of your file. It’s full of all the idiotic things you’ve done at work, but that really doesn’t cover all the things you’ve done in your life.” With that, his grin did not falter. He simply shrugged. "It's not just that I'm lazy. I'll admit, its partially because I'm lazy. But its mostly because your organizational skills are just so much better than mine. If it were up to me to do paper work, we would never find anything we needed..." Which was the honest to God truth, even in school he had no organization skill whatsoever. "But please, remind me, to never, ever, look in that file... Now that I think about it, I'm afraid to actually look at a physical list, that tells at least a third of the stupid shit I've done... Even more scared to see how long it is..." That too, was the truth at its finest.

Since Sirius had moved in with her however, he would have hoped that the list would have slowed down in the making. After all, he drank far less now. It wasn't necessarily a choice he had wanted to make, but one he made to respect Claire. He knew she hated it when he was drunk, or drinking constantly. She always had, and he went outside whenever he wanted to smoke so it cut down on cigarettes by far. But honestly, he started to wonder if perhaps it wasn't his drinking that caused the stupidity itself, or if it simply magnified it. But as far as things had been going, he hadn't been terribly bothered by his lack of drinking like normal, actually, surprisingly, it didn't bother him at all. Yes, he still came home from work and fixed a drink. Yes, he still took a quick swig or two before his morning coffee, and probably a glass at lunch. But as far as the drink, after drink, after drink after work thing goes, it didn't bother him at all. Actually, he found himself happier, simply because he was distracted by spending time with Claire outside of a pub setting which was their usual before now.

“Thank you for saying that to me... And I mean what I said." she said before her eyes fell to the floor as his had just been. When they were younger, he knew she had not approved of the way he acted. So for her to be telling him that she never thought he was a bad guy, meant a lot to him. He simply held her a little closer to him in a gesture to show that he appreciated hearing that, and then spoke to her again, telling her just how sure he was about all this. Then, something happened once again, but even better than before. He found Claire completely speechless, and that in itself, was simply an amazing show of emotions that he had never seen from her in all the years they had known each other. She always knew what to say, how to say it, or just spoke her mind. No matter what the situation. For her to not have words for her feelings, but to simply smile up at him before he kissed her again, made him so much more sure that everything was as it should be right now. When he broke the second kiss, she said softly, “Me too,” which seemed all she could manage for the short lived moment.

The grin tugging at his cheeks never faded through their entire conversation. Then she took a step away from him, but took his hand in hers in exchange fro the space she put between them before she spoke as words seemed to find her once again. . “Well, you asked me to this, so isn’t it time to show me all that charm, all those reasons that convince a girl to date you?” she asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow. He grinned still, and took a step towards the door. "I know better than to try those sly tricks on you, you'd see through them in a heart beat. You're spending time with the man the other women never got to meet. I think you'll like him better." With that, he lead the two of them into the Great Hall, finally, as they were some of the very last people to go in there. Years ago, at something like this, his first stop would be the drink table. But tonight, a good slow song was on, and couples of all ages were out on the dance floor.

Sirius pulled Claire gently by the hand leading her out to an empty space on the dance floor and held her close and lead her into a dance he nearly forgot he knew how to do. Even with the limp in his step, the moves flowed easy with the music, a surprise to himself as well as her he was sure. After all, the last time he had danced was at his wedding, and before that, just to impress a girl into sleeping with him when he was in school. But tonight, things had lined up so perfectly, he had seen the opening on the floor, and it hadn't felt so right before. Nothing had, not like this. No alternative motives, just him, someone he genuinely wanted to be there with and an excuse to hold her close to him and see a smile on her face...

word count, 1,159
tags, claire/jana
notes, I just love Sirius & Claire! S&C4EVRR<3 lol.

[Claire Pierce]

realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

words: five hundred thirty eight words tag: padfoot/sirius notes: c: sorry it's short, but it's to wrap it up

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She smirked as he talked about his file. "It's not just that I'm lazy. I'll admit, its partially because I'm lazy. But its mostly because your organizational skills are just so much better than mine. If it were up to me to do paper work, we would never find anything we needed... But please, remind me, to never, ever, look in that file... Even more scared to see how long it is..." Claire smirked at his fear of the file, saying, "I think it's fantastic, really. It's an absolutely huge set of multiple files, just for the stupid things. There's another one for any other information that needs to be kept, but the file with things you've done... It's so wonderful." What he said was true though; if Sirius had even a little bit of responsibility over the files and paper work, it would be a complete disaster and would probably give her a mental breakdown just looking at it. She remembered when he was in charge of it for about three days before he delegated the task (and eventually many others) to her... which was a very good decision.

They were still being sarcastic and obnoxious and teasing to each other, which was perfect - they were still normal. They weren't changing because of what happened, which felt right; she cared about Sirius the way he actually was, not charming and smooth like he used to act in front of women, but idiotic, annoying, funny, and smart and just the way he really was. Everything about this felt right, despite how new and unfamiliar it was. In a way, it felt very familiar, because of how they were.

"I know better than to try those sly tricks on you, you'd see through them in a heart beat. You're spending time with the man the other women never got to meet. I think you'll like him better," he told her, making her smile again. "I think I met him a long time ago... I definitely liked him better," she said as they walked into the great hall. He led her onto the dance floor as a slow song began, pulling her closer, and she smiled softly. She was not much of a dancer, and Sirius hadn't danced like this in years, but they easily fell into the moves easily - despite his limp and her lack of much ability - as it came back to them with the music.

Claire surprised herself by continuing to dance with him for a while - she had never liked it on other occasions, but with Sirius it was a different story. Throughout the night, she couldn't stop smiling, still extremely surprised with how the night had ended up. When it was late and the ball was coming to an end, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly before pulling back, still shocked that she could now do that. "Tonight was amazing," she told him with another smile. It had been perfect, and she felt truly happy, without her fears and stress and worries and bad memories haunting her, for the first night in a long time.

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